Julia's Oasis

My awesome weekend

2012-02-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

We weren't really planning to celebrate Valentine's Day this year. The conversation went something like this:

Brian: "I'm not planning to get you anything for Valentine's Day."
Me: "I got you a card."
Brian: "Ok."

But Brian did have the whole weekend off, and the way things are going lately, that's basically a gift in and of itself. After yesterday, the next time we both have the same day off is March 30 (when I am taking leave so we can take a ski trip). We technically both have next Sunday off, but I'm going to be out of town, so March 30 it is.

Anyway. On Friday night we went to a concert - Jim Brickman with the Colorado Symphony. It was kind of cheesy, but in a lovely and romantic way. We were going to get a casual dinner beforehand, but the place was really crowded and the wait really long, so we ended up at a charming French bistro and ate really well.

On Saturday we went skiing at Breckenridge (crowded, but a great day!), visited this awesome ice castle, basically had frozen yogurt for dinner, and spent a few hours watching insanely bad television together when we got home.

On Sunday, one of our choir members had her baby baptized during mass (I love the way our church does baptisms). After church, Theresa and some of her friends came over for board games and a pancake brunch. I got some chores done and baked Valentine's cookies for my office. We had dinner with some of Brian's friends to end the weekend.

It was a fun-filled weekend but not too crazy. And I spent all of it with my perfect Valentine. Truly awesome.

Snow Day

2012-02-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

Despite all you've heard about how DC shuts down whenever it snows, today, in Denver, was my first true snow day since I was in school.

It has been snowing for over 24 hours at this point, it doesn't look like it's stopping any time soon, and Brian measured it in the back yard at 13". So I'm pretty happy to have spent the day in the house.

Yesterday morning, in anticipation of the storm, the legislature canceled everything today. My office told us to take a two-hour delayed start, wear jeans, and stay tuned. I got the email at 7 this morning saying that they were closing too. "Stay bundled up!" it said. I went back to bed.

It happened that Brian was scheduled to have today off too. He would never get a snow day, so that worked out pretty well. I mean, he was hoping to go skiing, but I think we had a pretty nice day at home. I made breakfast, he made dinner. We played some Scrabble, caught up on some TV shows, and watched a movie we'd been meaning to watch. (Aside: two thumbs up for Amazon rentals through the Blu-ray player.) I got a few little productive things done but mostly sat around. I still have the whole weekend to be productive! Every time I was tempted to go out and do something, I looked outside and sat back down.

Man, snow days are awesome.

2011 in Trips

2012-01-30T12:10:00.005-07:00

My favorite way to round up a year is to look back at where I've gone. I thought 2011 was going to be a slow travel year, what with our ski passes and my office's no leave during legislative session policy. But then I volunteered to help out with some legislative trips, so I've been all over Colorado now. Plus some biggies in the summer. Always great to enjoy this beautiful world.

January, February, March, and even April

We got through the session by spending lots of time in the mountains, skiing on the weekends. We also spent Valentine's weekend visiting the hot springs and spa at Glenwood Springs.

Wintry weather at Keystone.

Steam rising from the hot springs pool at Glenwood Springs.

Vail village - the Disneyland of ski towns.

I think this one's at our favorite place to ski to date, Beaver Creek.

Arapahoe Basin (Theresa is the queen of the dramatic snowboarder fall).

May

My brother-in-law, Christopher, graduated from law school in May, so we went to Michigan for the ceremony. I got to color Michigan in on my map - it was my first visit to the state. The rest of the family went on to Boston for a week's vacation in New England, but I had to first go back to Denver for the last few days of session. It was a little silly to take that many flights in one week, but I was glad I was able to make the graduation and spend a few days in Vermont (which was another new one to color in on the map). May also saw a few more close-in excursions. We filled up this month, for sure!

On the University of Michigan campus in Ann Arbor.

Old Strubridge Village, Massachusetts.

Lines for maple syrup collection in Vermont.

Theresa and I took a day trip to Cheyenne, Wyoming.

We stopped to catch the welcome sign on the way back to Denver.

Brian and I finally had a successful camping weekend, this time spending Memorial Day at Rifle Falls State Park.

June

I took my first of three legislative trips in June. We went to northeastern Colorado, touring primarily prisons and staying overnight in Sterling and Fort Morgan. Then the end of the month brought two big trips that I combined into one - my high school reunion in Reno and most of a week in Maui with Brian.

North Sterling State Park.

Playing Scrabble on the shores of Lake Tahoe.

A long layover in Los Angeles allowed me to see the gorgeous new student center at USC.

Maui sunset.

July

No trips! It happens sometimes. :)

August

Trip of a lifetime with the Jacksons aboard our own personal barge in Burgundy, France. Full of sightseeing, relaxing, wonderful food and wine, and great company. Immediately upon return, I packed up the van and took another legislative trip, this time to the San Luis Valley (around Alamosa, in southern Colorado).

Our barge, the Amaryllis, on the Burgundy Canal.

Dole, France. I loved the little villages we got to explore.

The Eiffel Tower at dusk. Two-ish days in Paris is but an overview.

Aboard the Cumbres and Toltec Scenic Railroad, jointly owned by the states of Colorado and New Mexico. Traveling between Antonito, CO, and Chama, NM. (Yes, I got paid to do this!)

Visiting Jackson County, CO, for Brian's birthday.

September

In September, Brian and I took a planes, trains, and automobiles trip to the Midwest, visiting Milwaukee, Chicago, and Indianapolis.

Visiting the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago with Diana and her boys. Brian's giving Eric a better view of the flamingos.

My parents were in Indianapolis for a conference. This is at the Indiana State Museum.

October

For my birthday trip (possibly fast becoming my annual birthday trip), Brian took me to Cañon City, CO - the prison capital of the state. I also took one last legislative trip, this time driving all the way to Durango (with many stops along the way) in the 16-passenger van.

Federal Supermax (ADX Florence, home of the Unabomber, among others), from along the road north of Cañon City. A sign of truly being humored on one's birthday.

Riding the Royal Gorge Route Railroad near Cañon City.

The San Juan Mountains, from the highway approaching Red Mountain Pass.

November

Nothing here either! I know, right? We hosted Thanksgiving, so everybody came to us.

December

To Reno for Christmas. Always worth the trip.

You know you are in Reno when there are slot machines in the grocery stores. :)

And onward to 2012! Many more trips to come!

Grad School

2012-01-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

I think I have mentioned before that I'm on the one-class-a-semester track to a Masters of Public Administration. This means a slow slog for a master's degree (I started in fall of 2010 and at this rate will finish in spring of 2014), but it's ok, because it's not like I need the degree right now for anything. And frankly, more than one class at a time is too much work.

Really really frankly, one class at a time often feels like too much work, which is sort of embarrassing to admit. I work full time, but *only* full time (Brian often works 80 hours a week, to my 40). I put 3-4 hours a week into the church choir. I do more of the shared household tasks when Brian is really busy, but cleaning and cooking and doing laundry aren't that big of a deal either. So when I feel overwhelmed by a class, I can't help but think that I'm really just straight-up lazy. I know I feel really busy, but I don't really know why, I guess.

Anyway, back to grad school, I took an intensive "winterim" course a couple weeks ago. It was taught by a big-deal Denver guy - he's been on the school board, run some big city projects, and was a candidate for mayor. It was a really good class. He was a good teacher, and he had the pull to bring in some really good guest speakers, which is essential for an intensive class. When you are meeting 5pm-9pm Wednesday-Friday and 9am-5pm Saturday for two weeks, a variety of guest speakers keeps it interesting. Plus the class was ridiculously easy. The homework was only about 4 pages of writing, no research. And by the end of two weeks I had completed my class for the semester.

I was signed up for another, standard class for the remainder of the semester, and after going to one meeting I decided to drop it. The class looked like it would be ok but not great, I'm busier during the legislative session, and I'd still be on track with the one class a semester plan.

I'm worried, though, that this could be the death knell for me and the MPA. I might like the class-free lifestyle a little too much. I've been on the fence about the program pretty much since I started it, so I don't know how much of a push I actually need at this point. I'm officially at the halfway point now, and I'd much rather have a master's degree than half a master's degree, but I don't know. I also like not having to worry about when I'm going to get a 20-page paper researched and written.

My big plans for my class-free semester include making some headway on the long list of books I want to read, catching up on Boardwalk Empire, exercising more, and finishing a cross-stitch project before the baby it's honoring is a year old. Typically overly ambitious.

Speaking of being ambitious, part of me still harbors ambitions of being like my last professor - a big-deal type person with pull. That me really wants the master's degree. The other part loves being a fairly minor bureaucrat, dreams of raising a family and traveling often, and is happy spending evenings watching TV and cross-stitching. That second part is obviously the truer representation, but I wonder if I'll ever let the other part go.

We'll see.

Tomorrow...

2012-01-10T15:53:00.001-07:00

...is the opening day of the second regular session of the 68th Colorado General Session.

First full interim down. Bring it.

Christmas in Reno

2012-01-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's 2012 now. I'm going into the new year with a clean house and two consecutive days of working out (even though the gym was closed), so I'm considering that a positive start. I'm out of the 24-hour melancholy zone that comes from leaving my family, too.

Brian and I went to Reno for Christmas. It was the first time in 3 years that he was off and able to come on Christmas proper, which was great. We did some crazy shuttling back and forth between our families, but it worked out well. He had to leave on Monday (the 26th), but I stayed until the 31st, giving me 9 full days in Reno.

I was worried about nine days before I left. It's been years since I spent that much time in Reno. But Brian was unconcerned - "you'll still be sad when you leave," he said. He was right, of course.

I told Alex that story, and he pointed out that it's because after nine days it starts to feel like home again. By the time I left I'd fallen into the easy comfort of living at "home". And even though I missed Brian, and I missed my shower that doesn't emit high-pitched squealing noises when turned on, it was hard to leave.

I still don't know whether I want to move back to Reno. In some ways it would be kind of terrifying. In other ways, of course, it would be wonderful. But Denver is wonderful too. I'd miss so much here - our friends, our church, my job, the big-city-ness of it all. Oh, the comfort of Reno though. I had a good time.

I started out the trip with a Reno Checklist, which was initially things I wanted to accomplish while in town. It wasn't very long. But I kept adding things to it after I did them, and it sort of morphed into "great things to do in Reno when visiting your family". So I'll go with that.

Here's my Reno checklist from Christmas 2011:

Port of Subs;
In-n-Out;
Bulk bins at WinCo;
All you can eat sushi;
Lake Tahoe;
Enormous hunting/sporting goods store;
Wolf Pack basketball;
Pool hall? Sure, pool hall;
The Jacksons' hot tub with a view of downtown;
Scrabble;
Nostalgia;
Behaving like children at the Children's Discovery Museum;
Running into someone random from high school; and
Listening to the wind.

(In case you're wondering whether writing for work has had an impact on my life, that's a Legislative Council-style bulleted list right there.)

Anyway, like I said, it was a good time. Back to work tomorrow. Happy 2012!

How're you?

2011-12-19T14:35:00.003-07:00

We recently rearranged the office to accommodate several new staff people, and I have moved to a more spacious cubicle that also happens to be very far away from everyone. It's like the luxury outcast cubicle.

Which I knew going into it, and which I am choosing not to read anything into. But still, it is awfully quiet over here. It'll be nice when the legislature is back and I start spending less time in my cubicle and more time running around the capitol building.

I think that'll be good for my physical fitness, too. I came down with the nastiest cold I've had in a while a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. I was really, really sick for about a week (home in bed for two days), then just lingering sick for... possibly forever. I'm *still* coughing five weeks later. And, y'know, taking it easy when you're sick is a good idea and all, so I've worked out once since. Easy excuse in a busy month, but exercise is going to need to happen at some point here.

I finished another semester of grad school last week. I managed the time pretty well but still had that height-of-misery feeling for the last couple weeks as the final paper hung over my head. Hate that. It's what keeps me on the verge of quitting grad school. (Finishing the papers is what keeps me from *actually* quitting grad school.)

And I leave on Thursday for nine (!) days in Reno. Before that I have to finish up Christmas gifts and get them all packed (plus packing nine days' worth of stuff for me). And I'm playing in the church choir Christmas concert on Wednesday, so between that and rehearsal tonight, I really only have tomorrow night to get the last of the Christmas stuff done. Yikes.

So that's the news from my insanely quiet corner of the office. Things are busy. So what else is new?

One more thing, while I'm at it

2011-11-30T16:40:00.001-07:00

I just learned how easy it is to stick a YouTube video in a blog. Thanks, Google. And thanks, world, for putting basically everything on YouTube! I found this for a colleague who asked about it a few months ago.

The West Wing scene I'm in:

"College Kids" - season 4, episode 3. Shot one long, long day in September of 2002 and originally aired the day before my 20th birthday.

Rocky Mountain High

2011-11-30T16:22:00.001-07:00

As I was thinking about how much I love Colorado, I though of John Denver. He loved Colorado too, and Colorado loved him right back. Rocky Mountain High is officially one of the state songs, even. (Thank you, legislature.)

Last summer we saw Idina Menzel perform with the Colorado Symphony at Red Rocks. (Concerts at Red Rocks are an iconic part of living here, I think.) As a tribute to Colorado, she sang a medley of John Denver songs. I loved the way it ended with the audience singing, "Colorado".

I found a video of the medley. The quality isn't much, but listen to her (and us) sing:

Rocky Mountain High... Colorado.

Colorado

2011-11-30T16:08:00.001-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love it here? Have you noticed?

If it weren't for Brian, I would almost certainly never have lived in Denver. I picked Washington, DC, and he picked here. I wasn't opposed to moving to Denver, exactly, but I just would never have thought of it on my own. If I were ranking his residency options, I would have chosen Portland, Los Angeles, or something near San Francisco. So the fact that I love it here is really a pleasant surprise.

What makes it even better, and why I point this out right now, is that we get to stay for three more years! Brian is going to do a fellowship in pediatric critical care. He will be done with residency in July of 2012, and if he wanted to just be a pediatrician, at that point he could do it. But all along he's wanted to work in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU), and that means three more years of training. Now, I'm certainly over all this training, but moving for it would have been way worse. If he has to do three more years anyway, doing them in Denver is the best possible outcome.

The fellowship, like residency, was a match process. But unlike residency, Brian only applied to one place. This is called "suicide matching", and his getting a spot was certainly not a given. If he hadn't gotten one he would have had to try again next year, further dragging out this whole training business. Huge relief to get the spot. And worthy of many congratulations to Brian, in case anyone doubted how awesome he is.

Everything I have heard about the PICU indicates that it's just as intense as the title suggests. Brian is of the special breed that relishes the opportunity to take care of very sick children. I am generally all for other people doing things that sound horrible to me, thereby limiting the likelihood that I will ever have to do them, and this definitely falls into that category. He will watch babies die and counsel their parents along the way. He will also save some of their lives, though, which is pretty damn cool.

I'm pretty proud of him, is all I'm saying. And I'm really, really happy to spend more time in Denver.

Thanks

2011-11-28T14:15:00.001-07:00

Things you go through more quickly when there are 10 people at the house instead of 2:

trash
toilet paper
milk
coffee
leftover Halloween candy
spoons
towels
gasoline

...and many, many more.

But, at least when those people are our families, you also play more board games, go on more walks, have more help with the dishes, and laugh all the time.

When I get home from work today, it'll be back to just Brian and me. And I'm thankful for that. But I'm also more thankful than I can say for our crazy, wonderful families. It might just have been the best Thanksgiving ever.

I'm (not) with the band

2011-11-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

This is one of those posts that's been swirling around, half-formed for a while now. I feel like I'm writing a lot of "anniversary of" posts lately. Combination of this being the tenth anniversary of a really eventful year and being behind in writing about things as they happen, I suppose.

I should hate college football. The scandals, the sanctions, the sense that the schools care more about the football program than academic achievement. But I still kind of love college football. Mostly I love having a real connection to a sports team, and I love cheering for them. I blame the band.

As I pulled on my big, comfy USC sweatshirt a few weeks ago to watch the Notre Dame game on TV, I realized that I bought it for the Notre Dame game I went to as a freshman in the band. The senior flute players made me buy the shirt as part of a scheme where each class of flute players dressed alike for the plane ride, and at $40, I'm pretty sure it was the most expensive shirt I had ever purchased up to that point. I was kind of annoyed with them about it, but I guess I got my money's worth, didn't I?

That game also marked the tenth anniversary of my decision to quit the USC marching band (TGMBITHOTU). I went to USC for the scholarship money, but I won't deny that the presence of a marching band played a role in my decision. I had overextended myself in high school, I told myself, so in college I would focus on the marching band.

I moved to USC a week early for band camp. On the day my roommate moved in, I showed up at lunch break drenched in sweat and sunscreen to meet her. She was probably writing up a reassignment request in her head right then, although we ended up getting along great. When I went to an early dorm meeting, our RAs taught us the SoCal Spellout, which I had of course already learned in the band. I participated with gusto - hugely embarrassing alongside everyone else's timid attempts. The band drilled school spirit into me from day 1.

Performing in the band in front of 90,000 people at the LA Memorial Coliseum is an experience unlike any other. Playing with the Trojan Marching Band was incredible. But I hated everything else. I hated the hazing and the ridiculous traditions. I hated getting up early on Saturdays to buy the seniors donuts. I hated spending 20 hours a week practicing for 3-4 hours of fun. And mostly I hated how MEAN they were. They were mean to other schools' bands, mean to other schools' fans, mean to USC fans, and mean to each other. I knew all of this as I boarded the plane for Chicago, but the band was part of my college plan, and I was agonizing over what to do about it.

We stayed in a nice hotel in Chicago that night. Played at a rally at Navy Pier, and ate deep dish pizza for dinner. Given a few hours' free time, I took the El up to Northwestern and visited a friend from high school. And then the next day we boarded the bus for South Bend. I had already done the Weekender trip to Cal with the band, so I was not unfamiliar with their bus antics, but the flutes were paired with the drum line for this trip, and the drum line was awful. Freshmen drummers spent most of the bus ride stuffed into the little bathroom. There were tears.

Then we lost the football game. (My freshman year was when we still lost football games. USC's glory years came next.) As we were marching out of the stadium, flutes from the Notre Dame band cheered for the flute section. "We hate you! You suck!" the senior flutes yelled back. Two old grannies in Notre Dame sweatshirts yelled that they were Notre Dame fans but loved the USC band. "Fuck you!" yelled the flutes.

I had never been so embarrassed to be part of an organization as I was right then. I knew I had to quit.

When I told the drum major that I intended to quit when the football season was over, he encouraged me to stick it out. Freshman year's the worst, he told me, and you made it through that. Plus, he said, the band has gotten a lot better over the last 10 years. And the only way it'll change is if people who want it to be different stay. I knew he was right, but I also knew it wasn't worth the fight.

I finished the football season and sold my marching flute. At every game I went to after that, I missed being in the band, but I was confident I did the right thing. I got involved in the Catholic Center and some political work. Found my place in college. And learned how to quit, which I'd never really done before.

Last Friday night, the USC football team came to Colorado for a game. It was the first football game I'd been to in about 4 years, and it was fun. Every time the band played, I missed being in the band. But I realized that I actually like being a grown-up much better than I ever liked college.

Fight on, USC. College was fun and all, but I'm glad to be where I am right now.

Family, face to face

2011-10-31T15:44:00.002-06:00

There's something about this midpoint between my birthday and Thanksgiving that just makes me miss my family like crazy. We're hosting Thanksgiving again this year, so everybody will be here in like three weeks. And of course, Theresa is already here. But none of that stops me from moping around on a weekend thinking how much I miss everybody. (The fact that Brian was working all weekend probably didn't help, I grant.)

Self-pity, meet Facetime.

I got an iPhone a couple weeks ago (after an agonizing few weeks of indecision), and while there are several areas where the Android still seems far superior, I love Facetime on the iPhone. It's basically just video chatting - nothing new there. But it's video chatting made as easy as making a phone call. Provided both parties have new enough iPhones (iPads, Macbooks, etc) anyway. I'm sure that applies to plenty of people in my life, but most importantly, it applies to my mom, and by extension, my dad. My mom and I have now had a couple of lengthy Facetime conversations, and I'm sure there will be more in the future. We can flip the camera around for updates on the snow in my backyard, her outfit for an upcoming event, or anything else that catches our eye. My dad has even begrudgingly participated. It makes home feel closer. And Thanksgiving like it will be here sooner.

Technology is kind of amazing, isn't it?

Durango

2011-10-12T22:17:00.000-06:00

I have had several blog posts swirling around in my head for a while now, but everything is so busy that taking time to write them down seems impossible. Stay tuned.

Tonight I am in Durango. It was just about a year ago that I was here, the tail end of our national parks road trip, driving back from Mesa Verde. I was offered this job right before we left on that trip, and I spent all five days agonizing over whether to take it.

Now I'm here with my job, finishing up my interim work travel. I'm on a hiring committee to fill some positions identical to mine. I love it all. And today, to top it off, my former boss was selected for a cabinet position under Denver's new mayor. So if I had stayed, largely out of loyalty to her, she would have left within a year.

This is all very reassuring for someone as horrible at making decisions as I am.

Thanks for the clarity, southwest Colorado.

San Juan Mountains, off of Highway 550, October 2011

Mesa Verde National Park, off of Highway 10, October 2010

Babies

2011-09-23T14:30:00.000-06:00

I want one. There, I said it.

I have always wanted to have children, so that's not really any big surprise. But I have kept myself pretty flexible about when. At least out loud. In the back of my mind, I always sort of thought I would have my first child when I was 28. My 29th birthday is a little over a week away, so obviously that isn't going to happen. It's funny though. I never really had the sort of "baby fever" that my friends talk about until I turned 28. Like I had really pegged a lot of my life on that sort-of, back-of-my-mind plan without even realizing it. (Brian, it turns out, had different back-of-his-mind plan. Both of our plans are pretty dependent on when our parents had us. Probably not surprising since we are both eldest children.)

I am not pregnant. I won't be any time soon. We are doing what everyone says can't be done with starting families and trying to plan the perfect time. I mean, to us, it's not perfection we're looking for. Just better times than others. (It's totally the same thing, isn't it?) Honestly, we kind of do have a plan at this point. I'm mostly but not entirely at peace with it. I won't say exactly what it is, because I think that might be weird.

I even feel weird writing this much. Like deciding when to have kids should be done entirely in private quiet. Either that or it's just so easy for everyone else that they don't need to talk about it. Every time someone I know gets pregnant, I want to ask them, "Why now?" I will never actually do that. Well, maybe in a very few cases. But point is, I DO know better than that. And I know that at least one reason most people don't talk about this is to avoid being really obvious about their own fertility. So that's a risk I'd be taking, I guess. I do still wish more people would talk about timing, though. Which is why I'm posting about it, even though it's so awkward that I might end up deleting it.

We went to visit our dear friends Diana and Karl last week (along with visiting other friends and my parents on an epic midwestern couch-surf), and they have two adorable young children. I think both of us had a lot of fun, and it led to some good conversations about what we want for our own family life. Not like we've never talked about that before, but continuing to talk about it never hurts. We'll get there. I'm just being impatient, is all.

(Sorry, Alex. The whole time I was typing this, I just kept thinking about how much you're going to hate it. Haha.)

On everything changing. Or nothing at all.

2011-09-10T23:06:00.000-06:00

Tonight when I go to bed, I will set my alarm for 7am. I will get up in the morning and take a shower, dress for church, eat breakfast, grab my flute. Seven is nearly sleeping in for me these days.

I don't remember what I was doing 10 years ago tonight, but 10 years ago tomorrow morning is harder to forget.

As a college freshman, I would never have willingly set my alarm for 7am. The earliest I had class that year was 10am, and I probably didn't even set an alarm. So when two planes crashed into two towers in New York City, I was sound asleep. The phone that started ringing belonged to my roommate, Sara, but I was the one who woke up. Sara could sleep through everything, which was usually fine, as the caller would give up and I would go back to sleep. But the phone kept ringing. I finally threw a pillow at her bed. "Sara! Answer your phone!" After a sleepy "hello", Sara looked alarmed and told me to turn on the TV. We sat up in our beds and watched CNN.

On September 11, 2001, I had lived away from home for less than a month. I was in the middle of the big city, alone, and two other big cities were under attack. But none of that registered at the time. I was grateful that USC didn't cancel classes, eager to attend my comparative politics lecture that morning. My professor, who was Iranian, showed up dressed in black and lamented the fact that the campus was still open. I, meanwhile, was sure we would eventually find out that this was a domestic terrorist, a bigger Oklahoma City.

In 2001, I had never been to New York City. It would be almost five years later before I visited. Sara lives in New York City now. I wonder if her memory of that morning matches mine. I wonder if I would have felt differently about 9/11 had I ever seen the World Trade Center in person. Or if I had worked with people at the Pentagon like I have now.

As it was, I was angry that 9/11 was changing my life. I told myself that nothing had really changed, because I didn't want it to change.

One day at band practice, the whole band stopped as an airplane flew overhead. After a few days without them, we had forgotten that planes always flew overhead.

Madeleine Albright gave a lecture on campus a few weeks later. When tickets went on sale, I was one of the first in line. She began the lecture by telling us her original plan: quirky stories about life as the Secretary of State. And then she talked about terrorism. I longed for her quirky stories.

A year or so later, I wrote an essay arguing that 9/11 hadn't changed anything. The professor loved it, but it was wishful thinking. Every time I fly I am reminded of how things have changed. And in some ways, I am still angry about it. I am still angry that I spent years of my life dealing with "GWOT" and detainees at Guantanamo Bay. I am still angry that my school added courses about terrorism instead of about economic development. I am still angry every time I go through a metal detector, or wait for my family at the airport miles from the gate.

Ten years later, and I am still angry that 9/11 changed my life. Writing that is almost a revelation. Thousands of people died, and I, thousands of miles away that morning, am mad about ME.

My favorite of the many retrospectives I have read this week was this photo blog. It collected photos of the week before 9/11, full of ordinary things. I guess in some ways I am still wishing for that week before. For an ordinary first month of college.

There's a saying out there, rumored to be a Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to live through the American revolution, or some equally wrenching time. Then I wonder whether someone will look back at this as one of those times. Since 9/11, our country has gone to war and fallen into a recession. Since 9/11, I have graduated from college, gotten married, and found success in a career I love. We are living in interesting times, and I am doing fine. Just like I was 10 years ago tonight, and just like I was 10 years ago tomorrow.

And that's my real 9/11 story.

As if to prove me wrong

2011-09-06T16:38:00.002-06:00

Somebody just came up to me and asked where the gift shop was.

(We don't really have a gift shop.)

Capitol Happenings

2011-09-06T11:46:00.001-06:00

Random updates from work:

I wore heels today, I think for the first time since the session ended. I've missed the way they click smartly on the marble tiled floors. Makes me feel official, somehow.

This seems to be a popular time of year for big senior bus tours. There also seem to be a lot of Europeans touring the capitol. I must look like I know where I'm going, but the only thing anyone ever asks me is where the bathroom is.

They should have come a few weeks ago when the quilts were still up. The quilt show was definitely a summer highlight. 400 quilts, all from Colorado quilters, hung in the capitol.

We're getting our new 2011 statute books this week, possibly today! I think this must be like Christmas at the capitol. Almost all of us keep a complete set of the Colorado Revised Statutes at our desks. They take up a lot of space (especially for me - I might have the smallest cubicle in the office), but it is so handy to have them right there. I hate finding statutes online. (Nerd.)

Long day

2011-08-31T11:24:00.000-06:00

I mentioned the 7am thing last week. The basic gist is that in order to take a 3:30pm grad school class, I have to leave work at 3pm. And in order to leave work at 3pm, I have to come in at 7am two days to make up the hours. (I usually come in at 8am and leave at 5pm.) This means that for this semester, Wednesdays will be long work days, and Thursdays will just plain be long days.

The fact that I have to do this at all is a subject of some frustration. My grad program, which is ostensibly designed for working professionals, offered a grand total of ONE class starting later than 5pm this semester. 3:30pm has kind of become the standard. Very convenient. In fact, in the spring it will be a nonstarter. We can't leave early during the legislative session. The program director got a nasty letter from me, so hopefully there will be more options in the spring.

Anyway, even though it's only an extra hour, I feel like I've already been at work forever. Is it lunchtime yet?

Here is how it happens

2011-08-23T11:02:00.000-06:00

On Sunday, I look at my calendar for the week. It's the first week of school, sure, but this early class is done by 6:30 on Thursday. And there's music practice on Monday like usual. But not too busy.

Then my sister invites me to a concert at Red Rocks (which she will get me into for free) on Tuesday.

Then the email comes out about the weekly work pub trivia game on Wednesday.

And then by the time Thursday comes around, I won't have eaten dinner at home all week, and the chores I left unfinished on Sunday will still be waiting. I'll be tired from getting to work at 7am two days in a row (necessary to accommodate the early class... something to complain about another day), staying up late at Red Rocks, and having spent 3 hours in class.

I'm taking a flex day on Friday to take Brian on a birthday weekend trip. (Yes, I know, we travel a lot.) And the things I meant to do on the weeknights will have been pushed to Friday morning. And the things I meant to do on Friday morning will get pushed to another day.

And before I know it, another week will be over. And it's all good ideas and fun adventures, but I'm wondering where it went.

Long time, no see

2011-08-19T15:11:00.000-06:00

The summer is basically gone. My second year of grad school starts next week. I think I am in denial.

The busiest summer of my life so far would probably be the one where I graduated from college, got married, moved across the country, and started my first full-time job. But this summer might be next in line.

I have taken two trips with my legislative committee for a total of seven days. We spent last week in France, barging through Burgundy with Brian's family (awesome). And July was a blur thanks to this "weekend intensive" class I took for grad school. The "intensive" part is no joke.

So things are really busy. I'm keeping up, but it feels like a close call. Maybe the fall will be simpler?

Petty and small

2011-07-07T08:43:00.000-06:00

Two of my bridesmaids from my wedding are getting married this summer, and I wasn't invited to either wedding. In case you were wondering what you shouldn't do in this situation, it's look up the wedding details on theknot.com.

And that's all I'm going to say about that, because I have already devoted more than enough time to feeling sorry about myself over it.

Fireworks

2011-07-04T20:44:00.000-06:00

I find myself blogging about Independence Day nearly every year. The holiday festivities (which I love) always leave me thinking about patriotism and the things I love (and sometimes hate) about this incredibly fascinating and complicated country.

This year I have been thinking about fireworks. I love the big, professional displays. I watched one on Friday (Rockies game) and another on Sunday (symphony) this year. I don't much care for the "personal" fireworks, though. When we lived in DC (the first place I'd lived where people used these fireworks... perhaps in Reno everyone has taken the desert's fire danger to heart), I would lie awake wondering whether every little boom was a firework or a gunshot.

And then I got to thinking about how amazing it is that we can love fireworks at all. Our priest made this point in his bulletin message yesterday:

I wonder how many of us, humming the national anthem, hear the line in our heads, "and the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air" and think of fireworks. When I was living in Rome in 1991, I remember being able to see, from the roof of our college, the sky reddened to the south during the worst of the bombardments. The effect was sobering. Much like, I would imagine, the actual events of which our national anthem speaks.

That we can watch a fireworks show, grinning and clapping, never thinking of actual bombs bursting in air, is a testament to the comfort and security we have enjoyed as a nation. On Independence Day, I am grateful for fireworks and the absence of war. How fortunate we are.

(I know for a lot of people the next line is thanking our military for keeping conflict from our shores. But in reality it is so much more than that. Our diplomats and politicians who negotiate treaties, forge compromises, and create systems of law that limit conflict. The merchants and entrepreneurs who create and maintain lines of import and export. The artists, actors, and authors who present American culture to the world. It is not military alone that prevents war. It is all of us and the work we do as a country every day. For that, too, I am grateful.)

Happy fourth, everybody.

Domesticity

2011-06-30T09:25:00.000-06:00

I wrote up this whole thing last night, and then Blogger died. I am a dork and saved the text, though, so here it is, resurrected.

I am not very domestic. In fact, I am so not domestic that when I do something domestic, the first thing I want to do is brag about it.

So, hi.

I usually clean the house every other week (or maybe every 3 weeks), on the weekends. It was on my to-do list for this weekend, but now we have company coming over before then, and the place was gross. So I came home from work and cleaned bathrooms and vacuumed. That's not the normal cleaning routine, which usually includes dusting, vacuuming baseboards, and a lot more straightening of clutter. But at my best, totally not procrastinating pace, the normal routine takes 3 hours. And I am realistic about the likelihood of my doing 3 hours of anything but watching TV on a weeknight. (There is no likelihood.) The house isn't clean, exactly, but it's a lot better. I'm no longer stepping on beach sand that stowed its way back from Hawaii.

In general, cleaning the house is my responsibility. So is laundry. Brian handles the yard (I do not like yard work), groceries, and most cooking. Plus he'll usually clean out the fridge, because he knows I hate it and he is nice like that. Groceries and cooking often fall to me when he's working really long hours though, which is, uh, not uncommon.

When I'm home by myself, my cooking tends to consist of something along the lines of a microwave pot pie and a salad. Or take-out. But every once in a while I get inspired. In addition to the cleaning, I cooked for myself tonight.

I try not to read The Pioneer Woman. She's very domestic, I don't really believe in homeschooling, and I have no intention of ever living in a rural area. But my more domestic friends link to her on facebook all the time, and I hate to admit it, but I kind of love her. A few months ago she posted this recipe for chicken tacos that caught my eye. It is ridiculous that it caught my eye, because I am kind of terrified of frying things, and I hate making giant messes, which this recipe promises.

So sometimes I get crazy ideas, I guess. And tonight I fried myself some chicken tacos. It mostly worked! My corn tortillas broke when I folded them, but otherwise they came out really well. And I even modified the recipe a bit to suit what I had and what I wanted. I made shredded chicken instead of little chunks, and I threw in some refried black beans. Good stuff! It didn't even make that much of a mess (probably because I'm so terrified of frying things that I did it in a huge soup pot). I got in cooking, eating, and cleaning in under an hour, which is super fast for me.

Dinner cooked, house cleaned. Must be time for bed!

Editor's note: Since this was a braggy post, it is probably worth pathetically pointing out that I ended up staying up for another hour because I was roped into a dramatic episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras". Someone save me from trainwreck reality TV, please.

Reunited and...

2011-06-28T14:46:00.000-06:00

I am back from my trip. Well, trips. It was really two trips that just happened to smushed on top of each other.

The first trip was Reno. It was really, really good. Even the reunion. Our 10th high school reunion was done as two small events and one "main" event. The two small events came first, and they were both super awkward. The bar night should've been fine, but I hadn't been in town very long and didn't really have my bearings. Plus the space was one really long table, so it was hard to really mingle. I left thinking I must've known way fewer people in my class than I'd thought. The second event was a family picnic. (Theresa: "What, are you supposed to bring your parents? [pause] Oh holy hell, these people have children!") The picnic was really poorly attended, and the people who did come were mostly not people I knew. So that was weird. By Saturday night's main event, I was convinced it was going to be a mess.

But it wasn't. It was great. I had some great conversations with people who I remember liking and still like. They were the sort of people who I was always convinced never liked me, but it's possible I was always convinced in high school that nobody actually liked me. They did. They do. Who knew. (Get over yourself.)

An interesting thing I found about the reunion was how closely the high school friend groups aligned with elementary school friend groups. This was surprising to me, since I moved to Galena halfway through my freshman year, having gone to elementary school on the other end of town. In most cases when we were actually in high school, I didn't know where people went to elementary school, but now I do. Another interesting thing was that nobody I talked to was doing something completely out of character from the people I knew in high school. Sure, very few people were doing exactly as predicted, but everything seemed to fit, more or less. I guess I expected more shockers, or something.

In addition to the reunion, I spent a lot of time with my parents and some time with Brian's parents, and I visited an old friend. (In general, I have fewer and fewer old friends to visit in Reno, but due to the reunion I'd say I actually covered that base pretty well this time.) My mom and I took a field trip day on Monday, visiting the legislative building in Carson City (yes, thank you, I am exactly that kind of nerd) and playing Scrabble on the shores of Lake Tahoe. It's still interesting to be an adult in Reno, y'know? I've been to the legislative building at least once before, but seeing it this time was completely different. And going to bars in Reno still feels strange.

I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about where I am, where I've been, where I'm going. There might be another post there, but this one is already monstrously long, so maybe another time.

The second trip was to Hawaii, but I went directly from Reno and had a long layover in Los Angeles. I met my friend Matt for lunch. As with Reno, it seems that my friends have mostly left LA, but fortunately Matt sticks around. Apparently burgers are big in LA right now, and mine lived up to the hype. After lunch he kindly dropped me off at the USC campus. I was planning to take a bus back to the airport (cheapskate), which, it being Los Angeles, took forever. So in the end I only got about 20 minutes on campus. Only enough time to get a glimpse of how much it has changed since I graduated - the new Catholic Center under construction, the new light rail line almost ready to open, and an enormous new campus center looking stunning. As Matt pointed out, I need to take a real trip to LA one of these days. There's a lot I missed in college.

Anyway, we went to Maui. We stayed in a nice hotel and mostly lounged on the beach. The nice hotel was the Four Seasons, and I have trouble even admitting that, because it seems so much nicer than I deserve. I worry the whole time I'm at places like the Four Seasons that someone's going to realize I'm a fraud who doesn't belong there. But it was a really nice hotel, with a really nice beach and guys who set up chairs and umbrellas for you on the beach. So we did that.

One morning we went diving, which allowed us to see lots of fish and even a monk seal (apparently a big deal!) up close and personal. I'm kind of terrified of diving, but I always like it once I'm actually doing it. Plus, as one of our dive guides put it, all those snorklers arrive on "cattle-marans" (ha!) and paddle around in huge groups. Diving gives you incredible intimacy with the ocean. I also made Brian go to a luau (a fancy luau), which I rather liked but probably don't need to do again. Oh, and on the last day we went to a couple of museums, because despite my best efforts I am terrible at relaxing vacations. By day 4 of sitting on the beach and reading, I start to feel like a jelly blob and need to get up and SEE something. Brian says he's going to get me to enjoy relaxing vacations. I wish him the best of luck.

So that was the second year in a row of Hawaii trips, and I imagine we'll take a break for a while. I do like Hawaii a lot though. (Profound, right? Who doesn't?) Beautiful, fascinating place.

I would love to post pictures from both trips, but at the moment my hard drive is full, and until I deal with that I can't upload anything from my camera. Or install critical systems updates. I suppose I should really deal with it, huh? Unfortunately, I think it's going to involve music and photos, neither of which are going to be easy to sort through. Ugh.

Of all things

2011-06-16T13:40:00.000-06:00

I'm mostly posting this so I'll be able to find it someday. But the fact that it ran in the paper two years ago and I'm still thinking about it ought to tell you something. Well, that and the whole idea of doing a clambake in a Colorado backyard.

http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_13034356

So, anybody want to come over for dinner sometime?

Hello, Summer

2011-06-14T16:11:00.000-06:00

It's off to a really great start. Work has been fun and engaging (take that, interim), having a couple months off from grad school has been so nice, and there's lots of great stuff to do the rest of the time. I'm playing on a softball team (the Capitol Offenses, woot). I started biking to work last week. I have a few trips under my belt, and next week is another one. I really love summer.

This weekend is my 10th high school reunion. Holy moly. It didn't occur to me to be nervous until about yesterday, but now I'm nervous. Overall I'm pretty proud of the person they'll see 10 years later, but it's amazing how much high school insecurity still clings to the back of my brain.

After the reunion, Brian and I are headed to Hawaii for a few days. I'll be gone 9 nights, which is one of the longest trips I've taken in a while. I have a schedule for the week to get ready for it! I just got word that I can pick up another book I held from the library... silly, but it was one of the pieces I was hoping would fall together before I left town. Now if I can just get this pair of shoes I've had my eye on, I think everything will be in place. And then I'll go on vacation! The good part!

Buildings!

2011-05-19T11:09:00.001-06:00

I have a habit of signing up for things for kind of the wrong reasons. I ended up in Brazil for 6 months, in a city I'd never heard of, because I wanted to get some scholarship money for traveling.

My interim assignment at work is going to be working with two committees that deal with state buildings - one about funding capital construction projects statewide, and one specific to the capitol building itself. I like buildings! But really, I was motivated again by travel: the one committee goes to various places throughout the state to check in on the building projects. That sounds fun! I'll do that! Never mind that I don't understand anything about budgeting, or capital funding, or really anything related to money. My first assignment for this committee is to review a supplemental budget request. Um, what?

So it's possible that I have gotten myself in over my head. Of course, I was in over my head the entire time I was in Brazil, and I would say that ended up being a pretty positive experience. I'm sure this will work out too, and by the end of the summer I'll know something about money. And buildings. Yay, buildings!

Here's a picture of the capitol in honor of the Capitol Building Advisory Committee. Apparently there has been sunshine here in recent history. Right now it feels like it's been raining forever.

Making it

2011-05-11T19:14:00.000-06:00

This huge feeling of accomplishment is the payoff for chaos. At about 2:00 today it hit me - I am going to make it. In a day I will be on vacation with my husband.

I turned in my last paper for class. I completed my last committee meeting. I got the laundry done and the plants watered and a bag packed last night. I did the dishes, made the bed, and even took out the compost (gross) before I left this morning. And by the time I leave I'll have earned nearly two days of comp time this week (working until 12:30am on Monday helped a lot).

The legislature hasn't adjourned yet, so I'm not quite out of the woods. But I know I'm going to get there.

I'm going to make it. :)

Chaos

2011-05-09T09:41:00.000-06:00

I got my gum graft done a little over a week ago, and I still have all these eating restrictions - no nuts, no hard candy, no straws, and only chew on one side of the mouth. And yesterday at our first softball practice of the year, I took a grounder on the inside of my leg, just below the knee. It left a big bruise and is sore to the touch. I also lost a contact lens in my eye after practice and had to drive home half blind. So I'm feeling a little high maintenance right now.

I went to Michigan this weekend for my little brother-in-law's graduation from law school. Brian's family continued on to Boston and will spend the rest of the week in New England on vacation. I came back to Denver to wrap up the last three days of the legislative session and will join them via Wednesday night red-eye.

When I scheduled that flight, which leaves around 11pm, I kind of assumed that sine die (the last day of session) would be a mostly ceremonial affair like the start of session, and that the party would begin around noon. But I've now heard from lots of coworkers that you often work until well into the night wrapping things up, and then head to the party. I guess I'll have my suitcase in the car and ready. And I may still miss the party. (Not that I can get really drunk anyway - I'll have to drive to the airport, after all.)

I honestly don't know how the next few days are going to shape up. Right now I'm just waiting for them to assign more bills to my committee. I know it's going to happen, but it isn't happening. The comp time would be really nice this summer, so I'm happy to work late if the opportunity presents itself. But so far, nothing seems to be presenting itself. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I wrote my final class paper on the plane on Friday. Now I have to go back and find references and cite sources. (Write first, research second, right?) I should really do some laundry. There are plants to water and dishes to put away.

And on Wednesday night, no matter what else happens, I'll be on a plane to Boston. When I come back on Sunday, it'll all be over. It's hard to imagine right now.

Things That Are Going On

2011-04-27T09:31:00.000-06:00

The legislative session ends - sine die - two weeks from today. Things are starting to get a little frantic as everyone realizes how little time they have to wrap up all the things they wanted to accomplish. As eager as I am to get through these two weeks unscathed, I know I'll miss the legislature tremendously when they leave. I'm having trouble even contemplating what I'll do without the rhythm of bills and committee meetings, not to mention how quiet the capitol will be.

Here are some other happenings of late:

-Brian is gone again, taking a few days of his vacation to visit his parents in Reno. I think after this week we'll actually start seeing each other on a daily basis, which is super exciting. He seems to be spending a lot of his time in Reno solidifying some of our travel plans for the summer, which I certainly appreciate. I don't appreciate having to water his million little seedlings, but at least I can do that while watching TV.

-We hit some rough waters with our beloved church around the way they handle the Triduum, but I did still get to go to Easter Vigil and enjoyed it a lot. My mom always made it clear that the point of music ministry is to lead the congregation in praise, not to put on a show, and I think my choir may have lost track of that. Certainly the priest did. Triduum is a big deal in Catholicism, and it's prone to this sort of problem, so I'm going to cut them some slack for now. Hopefully it doesn't become a big problem, because like I've said, I really love this church.

-My parents came to visit over Easter weekend. The weather was really lame (I'm missing my Colorado sunshine!), but I think everybody still had a good time. We got a lot of board games in, at least. And Easter brunch!

-My parents' visit really solidified how great it is to have my sister here in Denver. She's trying to get herself on a concert tour this summer (doing lights), but other than that it seems like she's planning to stick around for a while. Which is awesome.

-I'm getting a gum graft on Friday morning. It'll extend the gum graft I had done at age 13 or so, giving me grafting across all my bottom front teeth, basically. I don't really remember what it felt like the last time. I hope it doesn't hurt. But I have pretty much the whole weekend free just in case.

-Only two more stupid grad school class meetings! And some sort of final paper that I'm sure won't make much sense. Will. Not. Miss. This. Class.

Happy Easter!

In other news

2011-04-14T16:06:00.000-06:00

The librarians in our funny little legislative library are celebrating National Library Week by sending out daily email trivia quizzes. First one to complete the quiz each day wins a prize. I won today (with a little help from Google Maps). I am also now eligible for tomorrow's grand prize trivia showdown (or something like that).

Here is today's prize:
-an eraser that says "Great!" (warning from legislative librarian: "this is an eraser, not candy, so don't eat it")
-a magic growing car ("Just Add Water! Watch Me Grow!")
-a set of Go Diego Go! bubble finger wands
-a Colorado Lottery scratch card

Is it bad that I don't even know what to do with a lottery scratch card? What am I supposed to scratch?

Rotations

2011-04-14T16:02:00.000-06:00

You know your life is a little strange when you are shocked to hear your husband's voice upon entering your house. On Tuesday I came home from work and opened the door, and Brian said, "Hi." Novel? Well, right now, yes. He's working nights, and our schedule looks something like this:

7:30 - Julia leaves for work
8:30 - Brian comes home from work
5:30 - Brian leaves for work
6:00 - Julia comes home from work

So we can go days without seeing each other. The one night he has off this week is tonight, when I have class, and if you include my bringing him ice cream at the hospital earlier this week we may get up to an hour of being awake and in the same place from Sunday night to Saturday morning. (And remember, last month was that rural rotation.) Being married to a doctor is awesome, you guys.

Have I ever explained how residency is scheduled? They basically operate in month intervals. Each month you're doing something different. I suppose this is to give the residents experience in all the different types of pediatric medicine that are available to them (and also to allow the hospitals and clinics to cover all their different types of pediatric patients with cheap labor). The majority of these rotations are either nights or days on "the wards," where they take care of kids who are hospitalized but don't fall into a category like oncology or cardiology wards. But they also cover emergency rooms, intensive care units, outpatient clinics, and the occasional random elective like the helicopter transport team.

The schedule of what you're doing each month is written a year at a time (July-July). A committee (that Brian always volunteers for, because he's crazy) writes the schedule for the "class" (people in the same year of the program - there are like 28 of them). So we know right now what he'll be doing each month until the end of residency next June. This can have some disadvantages, but there's generally enough flexibility to overcome them, and I have heard horror stories from people in other programs who don't find out their schedule for a month until like two weeks before. And that would be worse.

So the bottom line is that whenever I start whining about something like nights, you know that I only have to deal with it for the rest of the month. In May it's on to cardiology.

Miss you already

2011-04-07T10:30:00.001-06:00

Last week, I wrote about a famous politician who I never really knew, but who still touched my life. On Tuesday, another politician died. Unlike Geraldine Ferraro, Carla Madison was an actual part of my life. She was famous enough to get a front page mention in the Denver Post, but not so famous that anyone I talked to yesterday really knew her.

Carla Madison was a member of the Denver City Council. She was quirky and crazy, and she knew her stuff. She rode an orange scooter around town, and she had a princess crown that fit over her helmet. (This picture actually made her obituary. Good choice, Post.) She took exotic trips and wore exotic clothes. When I ran into her at last year's Independence Day celebration, she urged her husband to show me a picture on his iPhone. They had toured the roof of the City and County Building that morning, and in the picture she was waving a lighter around the assembled fireworks. She told me she'd begged them to let her set them off that night.

Carla Madison was all sorts of fun, but she also knew Denver forwards and backwards and could probably tell you every detail of the city's new zoning code. If there's anything I learned working for the council, it's that zoning is the most important thing a city does. But it's complicated and often incredibly boring. Most councilmembers would rather talk about big issues, even if they can't do anything about them, than really take the time to understand zoning. Carla Madison embraced zoning. It didn't get her a lot of headlines, but it showed her real commitment to good city government.

She'd been struggling with cancer for years, but you'd never have known it on meeting her.

One of the senators announced her death on the senate floor yesterday morning. I was standing around trying to get a bill scheduled, and I hadn't heard yet. The tears welled in my eyes immediately. Yesterday was one of the grayest days I've ever seen in Denver, and it seems somehow fitting. Carla Madison was one of those people who made you think of sunshine as soon as she walked into the room. No wonder she loved Denver so much.

I can't believe she's gone.

Damn politics

2011-04-01T08:39:00.000-06:00

I know better than to get my hopes up with politicians. I mean seriously. I worked for John Edwards.

I got caught up in my love for the state legislature anyway, though. And yesterday was the first time this session that they really let me down. Sure, some of them are crazy. And I still vigorously disagree with some of the ones who are not crazy. But they compromise and do the hard work of governing and usually get good results. And knowing how much I generally respect them makes the let-down worse.

At least it was the House, so I can cling to my awesome Senate a little longer.

It's a good reminder that even as optimistic as I am about government and politics, it can still break my heart. Those good politicians can still break my heart.

Win me back, guys. Please. (I know you will.)

Restless

2011-03-31T13:34:00.002-06:00

Overall, my new job is really cool. It was definitely a good move for me. But the nagging downside is still the fact that I can't take vacation time during the legislative session. I haven't even been out to the airport since Christmas! This is not how I have become accustomed to living!

I keep running random searches on airline sites. I could go to Portland to visit Alex for a weekend... Go watch a Broadway show in New York... See what folks are up to in DC or LA... And yet, I'm still here.

There's plenty to do here. And we have plenty of travel planned for the summer, fall, and even, in a tad bit of ridiculousness, summer 2012. I've been up in the mountains skiing three of the past four weekends, and I'll probably go back next weekend. My parents are coming to visit in a few weeks.

But I can't shake this feeling that I just really need to get out of town.

Maybe I'm addicted to airplanes.

Dear Geraldine Ferraro,

2011-03-28T16:09:00.005-06:00

I never met you, and I don't remember the moment you made history by becoming the first female on a major party presidential ticket. (To be fair, I was only two years old.)

I learned your name in 1992, when my fourth grade class was given "ballots" and asked to vote in the presidential election. In a result indicative of my neighborhood demographics, George H.W. Bush won the class poll, but one vote went to a woman whose name or party I cannot remember but who fourth-grade me recognized as the only female name there. I didn't ask my parents who to vote for, but when I told them the results, they told me about you. I have never forgotten your name.

At the time I didn't know about party politics, but I knew I wanted women involved. I still believe that, although I like to think my views have gained nuance and understanding over the years. For starters, I never would have voted for whoever that woman was in 1992. But I probably would have voted for you and Walter Mondale.

Until this weekend, I didn't know much more about you than that vice-presidential run. I suspect I'm not the only one. But now I know you were a Catholic, hounded for your conflicted views on abortion. I know you were one of two women in your 179-person law school class. And I know you faced scandals and weren't always what you appeared.

Politics is a messy business, and in the last 26 years women have more than shown their willingness to get their hands dirty. I think it is at least in part because of you.

Rest in peace.

Spring Break

2011-03-23T11:01:00.003-06:00

It's spring break week at CU-Denver, which for me only really means that I don't have to go to class on Thursday. Three hours back. My intense hatred of this class, however, has made me especially appreciative of those three hours.

Last Thursday's midterm was possibly the worst test I've ever taken. (There's one in particular that comes close, but it's the only one I can think of. It's possible I've blocked others from my memory.) The professor is horrible. The syllabus is a disorganized mess. She treats us like children. She speaks like an expert on things about which she knows very little. I was tolerating it, but the mess of a test put me over the edge. And during the test, as if the test itself wasn't enough, she assigned us to groups for our next project. A project for which I had already established a group. I am not thrilled about my new group-mates. I am not thrilled about this class.

Remind me why I'm going to grad school, again?

As an aside, I gave up meat for Lent. Not because I think it's some great sacrifice, but because after a few years of giving up being Catholic for Lent, I wanted to actually do something. See how it feels. And not eating meat has distinct environmental benefits, so it's at least a little bit good for the planet, rather than just being for my own enrichment. Anyway, it's not that hard. Except after a really horrible test, when I haven't had a chance to eat dinner and it's 9:30 at night, and all I really want is drivethru fast food. Wendy's is not great for vegetarians, it turns out. I had some french fries. Better than nothing.

Spring forward

2011-03-13T21:54:00.002-06:00

I love daylight savings time. Like most people, I'm not crazy about losing an hour of sleep, but I know that it's worth it. Daylight savings time is the promise that summer WILL come, at the time when I really need that promise the most.

Spring is just starting to pick up here. Our bulbs are peeking up from the still-cold ground. The chilly mornings make way to warmer days. And we're halfway through the legislative session, so it's time to start careening toward the finish line.

The improving weather is turning out to be good for my physical fitness. When I have a little extra time and it's nice outside, I think I had better fit in a run or walk or bike ride before it gets cold again. In the winter that extra time would probably find me watching HGTV at home. The other day I ran a 5K trail without walking at all. That's a little over 3 miles, when I usually only manage 1.5. It was a beautiful evening in City Park, still light after work, and I just kept going. I was super impressed with myself when I realized how far it was!

Brian came down from the mountains for the weekend, and we reserved ourselves a campsite for Memorial Day weekend. Oh, how the pictures of that campsite felt like summer! I can't wait.

Getaway

2011-03-04T13:04:00.003-07:00

I'm having college flashbacks today. After work I'm driving up to the mountains to meet Brian for the weekend. I have all my stuff packed in the car. I'm fretting about traffic... only now it's I-70 instead of the 10.

For four years Brian and I visited each other on weekends, sometimes by car, sometimes by Metrolink train. The 40 miles could take an hour, or it could take two and a half. Toward the beginning it tended to be a monthly trip, but by senior year one or the other of us was traveling pretty much every weekend.

Brian is doing a "rural rotation" this month, something required of every resident in his program. It's not rural like Winnemucca rural, but it still counts. He's about 100 miles from Denver, and about 100 feet from the lift at a fancy-pants ski resort (that happens to be on our ski pass, at least for a limited number of days). So it's, uh, high-end rural. He'll be back in Denver next weekend but otherwise spend the entire month there.

Anyway, he's only been gone since Tuesday, but I really miss him. A lot. So I'm excited to go up there tonight, even though the traffic's probably going to be horrible (because half the metro area heads up to the ski towns on winter weekends), and even though it took forever last night/Wednesday night/this morning to get all my stuff together. (I need to have a ready-go bag like I did in college, apparently.)

I may be driving to the mountains, skis in car, but the whole time I'll be thinking of sunny days at Pomona. Either way, it's great to spend a weekend with someone you love.

Status

2011-02-25T15:34:00.002-07:00

An article in the New York Times the other day stated that young people are turning away from blogs in favor of Facebook and Twitter. I think for their purposes I no longer constitute a young person, but it was something interesting to think about. When I look back at my old Xanga blog, I notice that lots of my posts were single sentences. These days those tend to go on Facebook.

At the same time, I'm feeling some ennui about Facebook lately. I know very few people read my blog, but I feel like nobody's reading my Facebook posts any more either. If I get comments on my Facebook posts, they tend to be from the same 5 or so people. And even though I check Facebook religiously (seriously, 5-10 times a day), I feel like I'm seeing less content than ever. Facebook admits that they don't show you all posts, even when you tell them to show all posts. Which I find incredibly irritating. How can I check the site so often and still miss a friend's pregnancy announcement, y'know?

I guess the internet is getting back to what it's always been: talking into the wind and wondering if anyone is listening.

So in light of my social media angst, some things that should be Facebook status updates, posted on the blog:

* I love having a whole set of bound Colorado statutes all to myself. And I'm amazed at how often I use them.

* We awoke to pogonip this morning. Pogonip comes from a Shoshone word, and Brian says it's only used in Nevada. True?

* I drive past six 7-11s going between home and work (8ish miles).

* Total school-work convergence: just got assigned some legislator research on the exact topic that I'm writing a paper about for class (liquor sales laws).

* Really lame of Brian to land a black weekend right before he moves out of town for a month of rural rotation.

* Really lame of my alumni club to cancel an event (that required some advance planning and packing) the day before it was supposed to happen.

* Really lame (but inevitable) of it to snow two days after I finally got my car washed.

* Best place for a day of solo skiing? I'm leaning A-Basin since I've never been there and it's close-ish.

Is it summer yet?

2011-02-15T12:53:00.003-07:00

I just got back from the library, where I returned three travel books and checked out four new ones. And thank goodness for the library, because I have a serious travel book addiction that is best not played out on our home bookcases.

There is a hierarchy to travel books.

Moon guides are the best. Moon gets me. In Moon itineraries, any interesting destination requires at least a week or two to properly visit. No good sightseeing is left undone.

Lonely Planet comes next. I appreciate Lonely Planet's efforts to be less touristy in their approach to travel, but their books are so popular that the places they mention end up being almost as touristy themselves. I remember in Brazil being able to identify anyone who was traveling by Lonely Planet.

Eyewitness Travel is great for the early stages of planning a trip. They have glorious, glossy pictures that always make me wonder why I'm not there yet.

National Geographic makes wonderful books, but they update them too infrequently to be a reliable source of on-the-ground information.

Which brings me to another key point: good travel books need to be current. So a lesser book from 2009 or newer will generally win out over an older Moon, especially if it's a book that's going along on a trip. (There's more wiggle room in pre-trip scheming.) Currency will sometimes convince me to check out a Fodor's or a Frommer's, even though I generally find those to be least useful of all travel books. (Why are you still devoting 1/4 of your book to hotel reviews? That's what the internet is for!)

Anyway. It's a beautiful day outside. I would much rather be sitting outside with my travel books (New York, Boston, New England, and France, in case you're wondering) than here in my cubicle staring down a huge pile of work that needs to be done.

Smushy post

2011-02-11T16:58:00.003-07:00

Right after I whine about how hard it is to have good friends that know my history, I am reminded that I actually have the best friend I could ever ask for.

Brian was working last night, but I got home (late, after class) to find a card with a description of how we will be spending tomorrow - hot springs, spa, perfect. Happy Valentine's Day.

What's really impressive, though, was that I had been starting to plan essentially the same thing for him. It felt like he was reading my mind. That's what knowing my story feels like. And it's awesome.

Truly I believe the best part of being married is getting to take your best friend with you, no matter how many times you end up moving.

I like your style

2011-02-10T16:19:00.002-07:00

Actually, I don't.

I grew up with the AP Stylebook. Seriously - my mom used to pull out her spiral-bound late '70s edition for use on my school papers.

College was all about MLA, and I was pretty good at it by graduation.

Grad school loves APA, which I'm still trying to get a handle on. (Mostly, I cheat. Zotero is an awesome cheating mechanism for this.)

And then my office uses the Gregg Reference Manual. I'd never even heard of it before I started working here.

People, people. Can't we all just get along?

Two things

2011-02-08T13:17:00.003-07:00

I am nonpartisan for a living now, but I can't resist a small rant. It seems like every business owner in the country got the memo recently that what they should say they need most from the government is certainty. If you talk about changes to the tax code, that creates uncertainty. If you threaten to change a regulation, that would create uncertainty.

Look, people: the future is uncertain. Life is uncertain. Somehow you've managed to make it this far...

--

Yesterday I was overtaken by how badly I want people around me who know my story. I struggled in DC to really connect with people, and I certainly don't have that problem here. (I blame regional differences.) But people are good here at connecting with the me I am now, and it almost feels like they don't need to know my history. Maybe it's better that way. But maybe what I really want is to pour out my heart and tell them everything: why I'm here, where I came from, the things that shaped my life.

In particular, yesterday, I was thinking about the Catholic Center, and what a lousy job I've done of keeping up with my friends from college. College: what a long, strange ride, right? I guess I just want someone who gets what college was like for me. What it meant to me. How it shaped the me I am now.

It's because I was talking to the choir director at my beloved (gah) new church, and she expressed interest in hearing the cd we made of Easter Vigil at USC six years ago. I'm going to burn her a copy. I hope she likes it, but in the back of my mind I am hoping more that she is interested in me. What kind of story does that music tell about me? Is it interesting to anyone but me?

I re-read that and feel bad about it, but I'm going to post it anyway. There's a certain inescapable degree of self-involvement here, but I'm just going to be honest about it. Moving all the time is hard. So what else is new, right?

Girlpower

2011-02-03T08:26:00.002-07:00

Know what's cool? Standing on the floor of the Colorado state senate. And every time I'm out there, I notice how many awesome, impressive women there are.

I read an article today that made this point even better than I could. It turns out Colorado has more women in state government than any other state. 48% of the senate is currently female. And, in 1894, Colorado elected the first woman ever to a state legislature.

The walls of our committee rooms are lined with portraits from those legislatures past. You always notice the women first. Mostly that's true on the floor too - bright colors vs. black suits and so forth. I sort of like it.

There are conflicting opinions about whether having women in elected office matters. Is it anti-feminist to think that there are differences between the ways men and women might govern? I tend toward the camp that there are differences. Having worked with elected officials for a couple years now, I'm absolutely convinced that life experience makes a difference in governance. And, well, women's life experiences are different. And I think we're better off when their voices are part of the process.

I get asked sometimes if I ever plan to run for office. The answer is, I don't think so. I'm really not into fundraising, mostly. But I'm so, so glad that other women are willing to do the hard work of campaigning and serving in government. I really think we're better for it.

Winter in Denver

2011-02-02T10:55:00.002-07:00

Last Saturday, we had a high of 70°. A new recreation center just opened nearby (yay!), and I biked over to visit their open house.

This morning when I left for work, it was -17°. That's actual temperature, not windchill. There is crunchy snow on the ground.

But true to Denver form, the sun was still bright enough to require sunglasses.

Identified

2011-01-13T13:33:00.002-07:00

The capitol loves nametags, and I think I do too.

Now that session has started, everybody wears a nametag. The legislators' are black. Legal services in gold, joint budget staff in white. Aides have a hangtag, white but a different style. Mine is red. Even the lobbyists, who presumably have to buy their own nametags, all have blue ones.

Sure, sometimes you have to squint awkwardly to identify who you're talking to, but it's nice to know what sort of person you're dealing with as soon as you see them.

As long as none of the tourists see my nametag and assume I know something. That would be a mistake on their part!

The rules

2011-01-06T12:56:00.003-07:00

Legislative session starts next Wednesday. Less than a week. I'm both excited and terrified.

In about 30 minutes we begin the annual "rules exercise". A refresher course on the rules of procedure before session starts. It's played as a Trivial Pursuit game, supposedly to make it more lighthearted and fun, but that's really just stressing me out. I'm good at Trivial Pursuit, see? And this is just going to be embarrassing.

It's my first session. Nobody expects me to know all the rules. Nobody, that is, except me. I've been studying. No proxy votes, ever. Consent calendar in the House, not in the Senate. Roll call votes only required on third reading, but anyone can call for them on first or second reading.

Please let me get at least one thing right!

2010 in Trips

2011-01-03T16:30:00.001-07:00

Ah, travel. 2010 was a great year for a new motto: travel all the time. I am fortunate to have an excellent travel agent for a husband (who takes my ideas as well as his own and turns them into fabulous trips in whatever time we have available), but I took a lot of solo trips this year as well.

I think 2011 is going to be a little sparse in comparison, travel-wise. I can't take time off during the legislative session, which definitely gets in the way of at least one tentatively planned trip. Plus we have these ski passes, so our weekend energy is going to be directed toward the slopes right here in Colorado. Which is ok, of course. (2010: travel all the time. 2011: ski all the time?)

Anyway, when I think of my favorite moments of 2010, I mostly think of the trips I took. So here's a summary of the year in travel.

January - New Mexico

This trip was my Christmas present from Brian. We flew to Albuquerque, rented a car, and stayed outside of Santa Fe. We visited Bandelier and Petroglyph National Monuments and Pecos National Historic Park, as well as touring Santa Fe. The history there is amazing. We had great food, visited a true spa for the first time, and stayed at what is currently my most favorite hotel ever.

Kiva fireplace in our hotel room at Encantado.

March - London

Ginny and Michael (my favorite in-laws) took us to London, which I had always wanted to visit. It lived up to expectations. What an incredible city. The history, the transit, the accents... it hardly even rained. Awesome.

View from St. Paul's cathedral.

The famed Oxford spires. We took a day trip to Oxford to visit Mat.

March - DC

I wanted to visit my coworkers from the State Department, so I took a three-day weekend celebrated in Denver but not DC (Cesar Chavez Day) and stayed in some (generous) friends' condo. I got to see a lot of my friends but also had some time for solo touring and eating at all my favorite quick restaurants.

DC cliche.

May - Oregon

I try to go to Oregon as much as possible anyway, but my baby sister was graduating from college, so I had to be there. We rounded out the weekend with some wine tasting and watching my brother's middle school musical.

Getting the mortar board just right.

May - Reno

Denver is great for weekend trips. Being in the middle of the country makes it easy to fly just about anywhere. So even though I'd just seen my family a few weeks before, I went to Reno for Memorial Day weekend. I was booked solid. We even went to Sacramento for a day to see the Jazz Jubilee.

Watching the Reno Aces.

June - Hawaii

Another place I'd always wanted to visit. Brian and I celebrated our fifth anniversary with a trip to the Big Island. It's more moonscape than traditional Hawaii, but still awesome. We covered most of the island in our rental car, including visiting Volcano National Park and Place of Refuge National Monument (are you seeing a theme for the year yet?). Plus our hotel did its best to be traditional tropical paradise. We liked it enough that we're already talking about going back to see another island.

I love palm trees.

July - Western Colorado

We keep trying. Our last big camping trip (to Assateague Island in Virginia) was a disaster. But we planned a weekend camping at Curecanti National Recreation Area with time to visit Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. It got off to a bad start, as it was about a six hour drive from Denver and we left later than intended. So we had to find a campsite and pitch a tent in the dark. And although the scenery was beautiful, our drive through the park ended with the car overheating and dying in Montrose, CO. So that was the end of our camping trip and the start of a fiasco that ultimately ended with the purchase of a new car. Black Canyon is beautiful though!

The Gunnison River, deep in the Black Canyon.

August - Chicago

This was a ridiculously quick solo trip, with both of my flights leaving before dawn. But I got to meet baby Eric and celebrate his first birthday. Plus there was a tall ships exhibit on Navy Pier.

Diana and Eric, visiting the tall ships.

September - Dallas

I had never been to Texas, and frankly, it's too big of a state to ignore. The stars aligned when my parents were headed there for a conference on the opening weekend of the state fair. As far as state fairs go, it's pretty spectacular. And Dallas wasn't too bad either, despite being in Texas. :) I found plenty of culture to enjoy, as well as a huge shopping mall. We didn't even rent a car. That's right, I've now taken public transit in Texas.

Midway at dusk, State Fair of Texas.

October - South Dakota

Brian promised me a surprise trip for my birthday, and he succeeded. None of my guesses were close. In fact, even as we drove through Wyoming I couldn't identify the direction we were headed. But we ended up in the Black Hills. Neat little road trip. Mt. Rushmore looks pretty much how you expect it to, but northwestern Nebraska definitely does not.

Ever since I wrote a GT paper about Gutzon Borglum in elementary school, I've wanted to see Mt. Rushmore.

The Badlands. So much prettier than they sound.

October - Utah and Southwestern Colorado

I'd never heard of Mesa Verde National Park before I moved to Colorado, but as soon as I did I wanted to go. The eight hour drive from Denver was pretty daunting, but Brian planned a great road trip for it. We'd already visited a lot of national parks in 2010, but this was a big national park trip. First we hit Colorado National Monument on the drive to Moab, Utah. From Moab we visited Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. Then it was south to Hovenweep National Monument, far out of the way but worth the dirt roads. Hovenweep crosses over into Colorado, where we finally made it to Mesa Verde and the most incredible preserved cliff dwellings you'll ever see. The final drive back to Denver took us through a wide swath of southern Colorado, too. An epic, and excellent, road trip. Between this and South Dakota the new car more than proved its worth.

Colorado National Monument.

Canyonlands.

Arches.

Towers in the canyon, nearly 800 years old. Hovenweep.

Cliff Palace, built in a canyon also around 800 years ago, Mesa Verde.

A beautiful view somewhere in the Rio Grande National Forest, near Pagosa Springs, CO.

November - Reno

Home for Thanksgiving for the first time in six years! Two Thanksgiving dinners and a little bit of snow.

Brian getting a lesson on my mom's new harp.

December - Reno

A quick Christmas with the family (but without my husband). Also a reunion with some of my high school debate team.

Debaters at Ben's.

Happy New Year!

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-27T16:34:00.002-07:00

It went fast!

Brian and I celebrated on Dec. 23. I took the day off work, and Brian thankfully did not get called in ("jeopoed"). We had a tasty breakfast at home, sat around and watched TV, went ice skating (briefly), got dinner at a favorite local restaurant, and opened presents.

On Dec. 24, I flew to Reno (by myself). We had a small reunion of some of the Galena debate team and friends/siblings, which was excellent. We went out to dinner and Christmas Eve mass, and I embarrassed myself somewhat but I'll spare the blog that story.

We waited to open presents until T flew in from Denver... possibly the first time ever that I didn't open any presents on Christmas morning. We played lots of board games and ate well and before I knew it it was time to fly back to Denver on Dec. 26.

Reno trips are never long enough, are they?

Brian's parents are coming out to see us in a couple weeks, so we'll celebrate Christmas again with them. We are leaving all our decorations up. Outside lights too, Brian says. Maybe we'll be those neighbors.

Actually, this year we'll be the neighbors who knocked on doors with plates of cookies. Brian says people looked at him funny. This neighborhood is maybe not so big on neighborly-ness.

I am back at work again, at any rate. There aren't many people here. And this is the incredibly uncommon week where I have NOTHING scheduled in the evenings. Or for the upcoming three-day weekend. I am already scheming about projects. Or watching TV.

Hope it was/is merry! Much love for 2011. Someday I'll send out Christmas cards again.

Sometimes I wonder...

2010-12-20T14:35:00.002-07:00

...what Google's ads are thinking. Actually, I wonder that a lot. But this might take the cake.

From my gmail: "Wife from Russia/Ukraine? - EasyMarriageVisa.com/BBB-Member - Fiance / Spouse Visa-Only $995! K1/K3 Visa Experts. We Speak Russia"

Uh-huh.

Accomplished

2010-12-16T11:37:00.001-07:00

I took my second final last night. Thus completing my first full semester of graduate school. I made it through two courses while working full time.

Honestly, I'm a little bit proud of myself.

Parish

2010-11-14T17:44:00.005-07:00

Last night Brian and I went to a church social to try and actually meet some people. It was a pretty good time, and there were a few other people close to our age, which is always exciting at things like this. They did some forced socialization things to try to get everyone to meet new people, which kind of worked.

Something I found interesting, though, was that when I met new people and asked where they lived, they tended to tell me which parish they lived closest to. None of them lived in the immediate neighborhood around the church.

Like LDS wards, Catholic parishes used to be geographically determined - you lived in a parish and that's the church you went to. In my circles at least, that's definitely not how people view the parish today. But like good Catholics, it sounds like folks still feel kind of guilty about it.

(A quick look at the map suggests that there at least 10 Catholic churches closer to us than this one. I bet you're not surprised.)

A mess, a bit

2010-11-12T09:31:00.002-07:00

I wish I could have like a month off between jobs. Some chill time to recover and regroup. I say recover because leaving a job is traumatizing. I did it on Wednesday. But instead of having a month off, I have four days. So Wednesday was a bit of a mess, and I bet Monday, when I start the new job, will be too.

I was thinking about my last day AT the State Department (keeping in mind that I telecommuted for several months, so it wasn't really my last day working there). Because I was going to telecommute, I had to take all these files with me, so I had a big box to pack up. I thought I'd been doing pretty well on the packing front, but by the time I was ready to leave, it was close to 7 at night. And the box was heavy. And I was riding the bus. I chose to take the bus that stopped closer to my office, so I wouldn't have to carry the box so far, but that meant I had to carry the box further to get to our apartment. There were guys out doing road construction, and when I passed them they laughed and mocked as I struggled to get the heavy box home. And then I had to get the box up the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment. It was a rough day.

On Wednesday, I couldn't stay as late as I wanted. I had class at 7 and a dinner date with Brian, Theresa, and my dad beforehand. So I HAD to get out at 5. I sort of succeeded. It was hectic and frantic, and I didn't leave nearly as nice of procedural notes as I meant to.

Oh, and it was sad, too. I will miss the wonderful people I worked with every day.

So the combination of frantic and sad left me kind of a mess. I ran from my car to the restaurant, arrived, and declared to my father, "I am a mess."

All the stuff from my office (my stuff, fortunately no files this time) is in a big canvas bag in the living room. Most of it will probably come with me to the new office, but I'll wait a few days I think. The new office is in the basement (garden level) of the State Capitol. I have a little cubicle with lots of tackboard space. I love tackboards almost as much as I love sticky notes.

Now that I've made it out the door, I'm getting kind of excited. It was a hard decision to make because I had never just left a job before like this. My associate-ship at NETWORK was a one-year position. My State Department program was designed to be two years, and even when it was extended they knew I'd be moving. The City Council expected me to stay for a while, and I know I let them down. So that was hard.

But I'm out now and trying to take it easy for the four day break (except for a 5-page paper I need to write this weekend). And on Monday I'll be working for the Legislative Council.

I hope it's cool.

PS

2010-11-02T12:06:00.000-06:00

My reputation is intact! One of my Colorado friends just texted me to let me know that she had voted.

Election day

2010-11-02T11:11:00.003-06:00

My first election pet peeve is one I've held since college - poll workers.

Having been a poll worker, I understand the problem with poll workers. It's a once a year (or less) job with minimal training. It doesn't attract the best and the brightest, because most of them have jobs that they can't miss for a random day in November. So the system is skewed away from the most competent, which is sad.

My current conviction is that there should be a full time elections employee at every voting center supervising. I know most places have supervisors - I've been one of those, too. But I'm talking someone who knows the nuances of elections and who can fix the real problems that sometimes pop up. I'm sure that would be expensive. They may not have the staff. But I think it's important enough.

My other pet peeve is kind of a new one, and it may be a Denver-specific problem. I had the hardest time finding any information about my local (county) races. The Denver Post apparently doesn't think they're important enough to cover. The Aurora Sentinel did a little bit, but I hate relying on only one source for this kind of information. All the big voter information sites focus on the national and occasionally statewide races. (And the initiatives - everybody loves talking about the initiatives.)

So I'm all about voting and think everyone should do it, but I know as well as you do that my individual vote doesn't matter in a statewide senatorial race. When does one individual vote matter? In the race for county commissioner or regional transportation board. The ones that have the least amount of information available.

Irritating.

I'll save my feelings about having to vote for county coroner for another day. At any rate, go vote. No, seriously.

Hi

2010-10-29T12:53:00.003-06:00

Things got a little hectic for a while, there.

There was some travel planned way back when: a weekend in Dallas with my parents, a long road trip with Brian through Colorado and Utah.

Then Alex decided to come visit.

Then Brian scheduled a birthday trip.

Before I knew it, I had four straight weekends booked, with midterms stashed awkwardly in the middle.

And then I got offered a job. Possibly the only job I wanted more than this one - committee staff for the state legislature.

So things got pretty hairy.

I'm taking the new job. My last day at the City will be November 10, I'll take a four-day weekend for Veteran's Day and hang out with my dad (a veteran, come to think of it), and then I'll head across the park to the state capitol on November 15. I'll work for a week and a half then fly home to Reno for Thanksgiving break.

I guess I'm not out of the woods yet, on the busy front. But my goal for this weekend is to not do any schoolwork. I'm trying to keep the to-do list manageable and leave time to read the Sunday paper.

It's a start.

On Campus

2010-09-08T15:07:00.004-06:00

So, I'm on Week 3 of grad school. It's ok. I'm not wildly in love with it or anything, but I do think the material is useful and relevant, and I'm confident I'll meet some interesting people. Which is a pretty good start given my trepidation about the whole thing.

CU Denver is one of three schools that share what's called the Auraria Campus in downtown Denver. (The other two are the Metropolitan State College of Denver and the Community College of Denver.) It's definitely a university campus, but it's also definitely a commuter campus.

I suppose this is obvious, but I hadn't realized how much the residential aspect of USC meant to my college experience. When I walk around the Auraria campus, I can tell I'm on campus, but I don't feel especially like a student. When I was at USC, USC was my universe. I went to events on campus because I was part of the campus. Now, when I get an email about a cool-sounding event my grad program is putting on, I have to think about how I'll get to the campus and back, which is usually enough of a hassle to keep me from doing it. Sad but true.

As far as I can tell, Auraria doesn't have dorms. There are some area apartment complexes that call themselves "student housing", but there doesn't seem to be anything on campus. I always thought it was kind of funny that USC called the housing office the Office of Residential Education, but it's true - being a residential student, in and of itself, is an education. Sure, there are a few college classes that stand out to me, but when I remember college, I mostly remember time spent living in college, on my own for the first time but surrounded by other students, professors, and everything else that makes a college campus such an incredible place.

Graduate education is different from undergraduate education. I get that. I'm actually not one of those people who longs for their college days - I was pretty eager to be done with it when I graduated. But I see the undergrad students at Auraria and honestly, I feel a little bit bad for them. I want to tell them to go to another city, or at least another school, and live in a dorm. This is a little snobby of me, I realize. A lot of these folks are probably grateful to even be taking a few college classes at a time. But I can't help wanting them to have the opportunities I had. I want them to remember college like I do. So at the very least, when they get around to grad school, they can see the difference.

The speed of summer

2010-09-06T20:56:00.002-06:00

This is how fall arrives in Colorado: First, a cooler day breaks up the string of hot days. Then a couple more cool days sneak in. Then the cool days and hot days slowly equalize, almost alternating. You have to put blankets on your tomatoes to protect them from the nighttime frost. And then one day it snows.

Another sign that summer in Colorado is coming to a close is the collection of massive ski sales over Labor Day weekend. Several of the major sporting goods stores are eager to sell their previous-season gear at discounted prices. These sales generate great excitement and the crowds to match. Brian and I braved one of them this weekend, and I came away ready to ski, now owning skis, bindings, boots, poles, and a helmet. Oh, and a Colorado Pass that will get me into a variety of ski runs for the season. Now I just have to go skiing (ideally a lot, to make this massive investment feel worthwhile).

Thinking about skiing makes the end of summer feel a little better, but I'll still be awfully sad to see it go. I filled my summer weekends with trips and guests and general exploration. It's amazing how much more possible that feels in the summer, even though the reality of a full-time job is that summer isn't all that different from other seasons - just hotter, really.

Hotter and full of possibilities.

And over as quickly as it arrived.

First day of school

2010-08-24T08:37:00.002-06:00

This is what I thought of this morning: at Alyce Taylor Elementary, they would post the class lists on the front doors, usually a week or so before school started. I always knew who my teacher would be, because my mother was the sort who made arrangements with the principal about things like that, but the class lists were when I found out where everyone else would be. I would bike past the front of the school every day looking to see if the lists had been posted yet.

I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing these days parents get an email from their child's teacher a few weeks before school starts. Maybe they post the class lists on the school website. I sort of doubt they still tape them to the front door.

I spent the last week frequently checking the syllabi list on the CU Denver MPA program website, hoping to see what I would have to do in the two classes I'm taking this fall. I started grad school once already, but this time I'm hoping to actually stick with it and get a master's degree. Because I'm still working full time, the courses sort of seem like a side note, but thinking about those class lists this morning put me in real school mode.

It's my first day of school today, again. Here goes nothing.

Bits and pieces

2010-08-11T10:29:00.003-06:00

Ah, bullet points... the best way to cover a long lack of updates.

We (my office) have our new legislative software mostly live, and it is still causing loads of problems. Some user error, some technical issues, and a lot of explaining that change is not always bad.
All the criminal courts moved to a new "justice center" down the street, so there are no longer guys in handcuffs being escorted by sheriffs past my office.
Brian's second year of residency is now underway, and I can't say for sure, but it looks to me like he's pretty good at his job.
This month is a heme/onc rotation, and I'm learning that kids with cancer is depressing as all hell. I'm sure you're shocked.
My sister is going to move to Denver! She got an internship at the aquarium here. The internship does not involve fish. It may involve tigers.
Imagine being able to say that your brother is a professional improv comedian and your sister trains tigers.
And that you, meanwhile, are a minor local bureaucrat. Snore.
I start grad school in two weeks. Part time MPA program. I'm taking an intro class and research methods this fall. They still haven't posted the syllabi.
Travel all the time update: disastrous camping trip to Black Canyon National Park in July, Chicago at the end of August, Dallas at the end of September, Mesa Verde National Park and Moab in October.
We bought a new car! It's a Subaru Forester, 2010, dark gray. It should be much better in snow than my car, and it will have a ski rack. Very Coloradan. Let me know if you know anyone who wants to buy an 8-year-old Mercury.

Into the Woods

2010-07-25T18:58:00.002-06:00

Then from out of the blue,
And without any guide,
You know what your decision is,
Which is not to decide.

That's a lyric from the song "On the Steps of the Palace," from Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods. A few of my friends in high school were obsessed with the musical, which I was able to see live at a pre-Broadway run in Los Angeles. As an indecisive person, that lyric has stuck in my head over the years, and it came immediately to mind recently when I was thinking about the Catholic thing.

I apologize for how much I've blogged about The Catholic Thing. I'm sure it's excruciatingly boring for people who aren't me. But I find that religion needs to be thought through, and pounding out those thoughts on a keyboard seems to help.

So basically, I didn't decide about being Catholic. I left the label question - the big question - open. I'm going to a Catholic church again, and I thought I'd just talk about it less. Remove the Catholic-ness from my identity as much as possible. Something like that.

Of course, not deciding becomes a decision over time. And I've decided to go to this church. It has a horrible name, Most Precious Blood, but it is a wonderful place. It has people of all ages who share a strong sense of community. It has a priest who really gets the things that are important to me about religion and the reasons why I'm Catholic. His homilies are funny and smart. And it has a fabulous music ministry that I recently joined. They're like my beloved Catholic Center musicians but organized. It feels so good to play with them that I can hardly describe it. I come home singing again.

It's everything I've longed for in a church.

But I kind of feel guilty about liking it so much.

This Catholic thing, it's tough to shake. I despise the way the church talks about gay people. Abhor it. They're wrong about birth control. They're wrong about end of life issues. I think they're even mostly wrong about abortion. And they're really, really wrong about homosexuality.

But they're right about mass, I guess. At least at Most Precious Blood they are. And my decision has become that that's more important than my supposed principles. I think that might make me a bit of a coward. At the very least, it makes me a lover of comfort.

And here I am, heading back into the woods of Catholicism. Pray for me.

Five

2010-07-09T18:52:00.003-06:00

I know I just did one of these tribute posts, marking 10 years that Brian and I have been a couple. But today marks five years of our being married.

I kind of like the even-ness of that, that for every wedding anniversary we add five years of dating.

I dug back through my old blog to see what I said about the wedding, and I liked this best: "Sometimes it's hard to believe the life you're living is actually yours, ya know?"

It was an incredible day. How did it get to be five years ago already?

Another thing I dug back through was a booklet my mom put together, of advice on marriage collected from her family and friends. I was struck reading it at how hard many of them have worked, over the years, to keep their marriages. When I mentioned our anniversary to one of the councilmembers, he said something to the effect of, "Wow, dude, that's really impressive. I've been married three, and it is HARD WORK."

So I guess what's striking to me at five years at how hard being married isn't.

I mean, I'm not going to say that Brian and I have never had hard moments or fought, because we have. This last year of Brian being a resident and working 80 hours a week has been particularly hard for me. But we know each other, and we get each other. We fit.

It's pretty amazing, really.

Thanks, again, Brian, for all these years. They have meant the world to me, and I can't wait for more.

Land that I love

2010-07-04T20:02:00.003-06:00

I always find myself reflecting on the 4th of July. About being an American, or a patriot, or both. About what sets our fascinating country apart from the rest of the world, for better or for worse.

I'm a government girl, and my bias when thinking of country is to think in terms of governance. I am a huge believer in the ability of people to come together and solve collective problems. So usually that's where my mind goes.

But lately I've been thinking about the remarkable land that is America. Last week Brian and I went to Hawaii, an amazing place that is unlike America but still distinctly of it. Ours is a country that incorporates and accommodates the marvels of both New York City and the Big Island of Hawaii. It protects and shares the Rocky Mountains and the Louisiana bayou (obviously, we still have some work to do). It represents the wilds of Alaska and the cornfields of Iowa. We are able to use this land while still preserving it. What an incredible gift.

Happy Independence Day!

What you pay for

2010-06-16T11:04:00.002-06:00

Something we hear a lot from the City is the importance of buying local. Sales tax revenue, local jobs, all that jazz.

So for my fathers' day gift - a recently released hardcover book - I went to Tattered Cover, a beloved local bookstore. I bought the book for $25 plus sales tax. I bought a padded mailer and sent it priority mail - another $8.50 or so to the Post Office. So let's say the whole thing cost about $35, well within my anticipated price range.

However, I could have purchased the book for $16.50 on amazon.com, with free shipping thanks to a ride-on Amazon Prime membership. Colorado thinks they're going to bill me for sales tax on that purchase, but I question how successful they'll be at that.

I'd like to think that extra $18.50 is somehow making its way back to Denver's general fund (which is currently facing an $80 million deficit), but I just don't know. Was buying local worth a 100% cost increase? No wonder people don't do it.

Water fountain

2010-06-11T14:39:00.002-06:00

You may recall that my office is the City Council's lobby. For some unknown reason (probably relating to the whole suite being old and infrequently renovated) there is a water fountain here. It is old and sad-looking, and stuck in a kind of weird spot. I wouldn't use it.

But people stop and get a drink from this sad little fountain all the time! And not just the weird people who are on jury duty and aimlessly wander the halls - normal, well-adjusted City employeees!

What is it about a water fountain that compells people to stop?

PS - New look! Bless you, Blogger, for finally providing easy templates in house.

Summer Weekends

2010-06-07T09:52:00.002-06:00

I was outside the other day catching the last daylight, and when I came inside, I realized that it was nearly 8pm. Somehow summer managed to sneak up on me! The schools have been finishing up over the last couple weeks, and the high today is in the 90s. Bring it on.

Memorial Day weekend is of course the "unofficial start of summer", and a city furlough day meant I had a four-day weekend. So I flew out to Reno. We had a pretty jam-packed agenda for the three days I was there. It looked something like this:
-shopping with Theresa
-lunch with Ginny
-pedicure with my mom
-"yuppy pizza" (my mom's description) prepared by Theresa and I for dinner
-full day in Sacramento for the Jazz Festival and Jubilee (jazz of all genres - 8 or so performances over the course of the day)
-Reno Aces game
-backyard barbecue at my uncle's house

Ending with an early-bird flight to Denver on Monday. It was seriously such a fun weekend. I love being able to go to Reno more often than just Christmas.

Then this weekend was one of few this summer where Brian had both days off. We packed it full. On Saturday we went whitewater rafting with Sarah and Evan on the Arkansas River. It was my first time rafting, and I rather enjoyed it. The weather was perfect (although the bright sun proved rough on the skin - ouch!), and the water was apparently the highest it had been in several years. We went down the river fast, with only a brief break for a delicious grilled lunch.

After a hurried drive back to Denver (Buena Vista is not close - we left at 5am to get there on time!) and a quick shower to wash off the wetsuit smell, it was off to a barbeque potluck with Brian's fellow interns (who are almost second-year residents at this point). We stayed out late and had a good time.

Sunday was not so exciting, but we did make it to church and do a bunch of cleaning and organizing in preparation for the year-late open house we're hosting next weekend. Oh, and I watched the new Sex and the City movie, which was actually horrible.

And now I'm back at my desk, counting the days until the next weekend!

Travel all the time

2010-05-19T10:20:00.003-06:00

My current philosophy: travel all the time.

We won't be young with two incomes, a super cheap mortgage, and no pets or kids forever. May as well take advantage, right?

January '10: Albuquerque and Santa Fe
March '10: London, DC
May '10: Salem and Portland, Reno and Sacramento
June '10: Hawaii (!!)

I just got back from my baby sister's college graduation (!!) in Oregon. Two weeks later I head for Reno, which will be another family hangout trip. Totally indulgent. I think I like it.

Good people

2010-05-13T16:33:00.004-06:00

It's been a long work week. A lot of bitching has happened. Some grumpy Facebook statuses. The possibility of pissing off a few coworkers. Stuff like that.

But I still work for nice people, and they make sure to remind me of that when all is said and done. My boss (recipient of much behind-her-back sniping from me this week) bought us all lunch today. And then at the end of the day came around with little presents.

Even if I never use the bath salts (my tub's not very big, it turns out), I really, really appreciate the thought. It's always nice to remember that I work for good people. I do much better work when I know that's true.

420

2010-04-20T16:20:00.000-06:00

I'm actually in support of legalizing marijuana. I haven't seen anything compelling to suggest that it's any worse than alcohol or nicotene, both of which are legal. I probably would have voted in favor of the Colorado initiative that legalized medical marijuana.

But my major hang-up is how effing annoying the marijuana advocates are. They've been out in front of my office building all day for their 420 rally, and they're driving me a little bit crazy. It's noisy, and you can smell the rally the minute you step out of the building. I had to deal with them a lot when the City did our medical marijuana dispensary ordinance a couple months ago, and they were annoying then too.

I guess I just can't understand how, of all the causes out there, you decide that this is the one you are going to care most about. Poverty, education, war and peace... none of that interests you. But your own personal recreational desire is the one that gets you out to the street. Doesn't impress me much.

(And yes, I waited until 4:20 to post this.)

Remember

2010-04-19T22:07:00.002-06:00

Today is the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. While I remember the bombing vividly, that's most significant for me because it was also the day of my Oma's funeral. I remember exactly when we heard about the bombing - we were almost home, all five of us dressed for mass in my parents' gray minivan, somber as we turned from the highway into our subdivision. NPR was playing on the car radio.

My Oma (Dutch for grandma) had died on Good Friday. It was the only time I can remember missing Easter Vigil mass. My mom wasn't up for all that joyfulness the very next day.

Maybe it's because I was 12 years old, just old enough to understand death and loss, but of all of my family members who have died (around 7 now), I miss my Oma the most. Oma and I were friends. My mom had gone back to school to get her teaching license, and on nights when she had class, she dropped us off at Oma and Opa's after school. While my siblings ran around and played, I would sit with Oma, reading the mail and talking.

Once she got a flier in the mail for a cruise to Alaska. "I've always wanted to go to Alaska," she told me. Then she asked if I would go with her someday. My Opa was still recovering from a stroke, and she didn't think he would be up for that kind of trip.

"Of course I would go," I told her. "Someday we'll go to Alaska together."

Oma's cancer was swift and unexpected. No more than six months after she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma, she was dead. I remember the last time my mom asked me if I wanted to go visit Oma in the hospital. I told her no. I hated the hospital, and I was tired of seeing my Oma sick and dying. As it happened, I never saw her again.

Oma was a grandma's grandma. She baked pies and canned peaches. But she was also braver and stronger than I ever knew when I knew her. She was in the Dutch army in World War II, a truck driver who transported American soldiers around her Nazi-occupied country. It was she who convinced my reluctant Opa to move to America with four young children in tow. When the family didn't have enough money, she cleaned peoples' houses. She dreamed of seeing all her grandchildren graduate from high school, an opportunity she never had for herself.

One of those days when Oma was looking after us, she decided to take us on a bus ride. We walked to the public bus stop, got on the bus, and rode it all the way to the end of the line. It dropped us off in the parking lot of a supermarket, and Oma took us in for popsicles. Then we turned around and rode back to her house. It's the sort of thing I've been known to do today, just for fun and to see a place.

It's been 15 years since my Oma died, and I can no longer see her face in my head, even if I concentrate really hard. In fact, I didn't quite remember this story right. I had thought Oma died on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing, but a quick google search told me that wasn't Good Friday, and I know it was Good Friday.

Memory is funny like that.

I remember that bus ride. I remember the way Oma's house smelled, and how it never smelled the same after she died. I remember her sitting us on the porch steps with a mixing bowl full of grapes from my Opa's garden. And I remember that promise, that someday we would go to Alaska.

I finally went without her a couple years ago. I hope she understands.

Working Out

2010-04-16T14:59:00.003-06:00

In Washington, I had worked my way into a pretty good gym habit. Settle into a stationery bicycle, headphones on, book in hand, and just pedal. The gym in the State Department basement was great for that, mostly because it was in the basement. When we moved to Denver, I let my gym time fall to the wayside for a while. But by January, which seems to be the typical point where gym motivation is high, I knew I needed to get back into working out.

Fortunately, this job also has a gym in the basement. It's one building over from mine, so I do have to walk outside, but it's better than the State gym in one key way: classes.

Like I said, I can work out by myself. But I'm finding that I work out much harder when I go to class. Peer pressure works for me. The City gym has 4-6 class offerings a day, mostly around lunch hour. I had to get over my fear of coming back to my desk sweaty, but once I did that, I decided I really liked the mid-day break of going over to class.

Today gave a good example of why these classes are so good for me. I was tired and a little sore, having worked out quite a bit this week, so I thought I'd go to yoga instead of an intense cardio or strength workout. But I managed to misremember the schedule, and I showed up ready for yoga only to find a "boot camp" class. I had already changed into my gym clothes when I realized this, and I know changing back into work clothes, going back to work, and coming back to the gym in an hour just wasn't going to happen. I was all set to give up on the day.

I groused a little about this to a woman who I see at the gym often. "You should just stay for boot camp," she said. I lamented that I hadn't even brought shoes. She pulled a pair of shoes out of her locker. They were about a half-size too small, but they would work for an hour. I was officially out of excuses. So off I went to boot camp. I worked hard, and I felt great about it afterwards.

Like I said, peer pressure works for me.

Opening Day Pyro

2010-04-08T16:09:00.002-06:00

That was the actual subject heading of an email I received at work today. Wait, what?

Apparently the Fire Department notifies the City Council whenever they approve a public fireworks display (aka pyrotechnics). It's scheduled for the end of the Rockies' home opener tomorrow.

Ah. Good to know.

Alleluia

2010-04-05T12:07:00.002-06:00

I long considered Easter my favorite holiday. Now I think Christmas may have edged it out, as Christmas basically guarantees that I'll see my family, and there's nothing more valuable to me than that. But I still love Easter.

It managed to sneak up on me this year - due to my ongoing existential religious crisis, I didn't do anything for Lent. But when Holy Week was nearly upon me, I knew that I needed to go to Easter Vigil mass, even if I'm done being Catholic (which, maybe I'm not... who knows...). I love Easter Vigil too much to give it up. And a funny thing happened - the person in my office who is "responsible" for this existential religious crisis in the first place suggested a Catholic church I might like. We were talking about our frustrations with Catholicism, and I was telling her about my religion shopping, and she threw it out there, "Just in case you are ever looking for a Catholic church." And it turns out I really love the place.

So I've managed to muddle things even further. To be continued.

But anyway, Brian had to work all day Saturday, all night Saturday, and Sunday morning. He also had to work during the day on Friday, when I had a furlough day from work. So I had a three-day weekend over a beloved holiday where I was barely going to see my husband. And I knew I had to make myself a fun Easter if I was going to have one.

My friend Sarah managed to get Friday off too, so we went hiking in a lovely state park, went out to lunch, and then got pedicures. And on Sunday, she and her husband Evan came over for homemade brunch (a delicious strawberry souffle and rhubarb muffins) and a round of Settlers of Catan. I wore an Easter dress.

Then I woke Brian up, and we drove up to Fort Collins for a big family dinner (read: Brian's side of the family).

All in all, it was a really good weekend. I didn't get to any of the cleaning I need to do before my mother shows up next weekend, but it was fun and Easter-y.

And I got some great Triduum services out of it. The closest anyone's come to living up to Triduum services at the USC Catholic Center. Strange feeling.

Happy Easter! Happy Spring! He is risen! Alleluia!

Another bunny eulogy

2010-04-03T08:34:00.005-06:00

We had to put Mopsy (the brown bunny) down this week too. She got head tilt, a common bunny ailment, and she didn't get better despite a variety of medicines and a week plus of syringe feeding.

I imagine the fact that she got sick was random, and I don't want to give a rabbit too much credit, but I can't help but wonder if she didn't want to get better because she'd have to keep living alone. Who knows, right?

This, year, no Easter bunnies.

Sad.

(They weren't really interested in taking cute Easter pictures. April 2007.)

PS - I just added a tiny bit of comment security. I'm not pleased with it, but I'm sick of getting comments full of Chinese characters on my posts.

Good things

2010-03-26T21:34:00.002-06:00

I just got my London pictures up on Facebook - a big accomplishment and a lovely reminder of an amazing trip. In the three-ish weeks since we got back, I read a Connie Willis (time travel!) book about Oxford, and I saw the musical version of Mary Poppins, so I have kept England on my mind.

But I have good things to look forward to, too.

I'm leaving soon for a long weekend in Washington. I have a few plans (the most definite being lunch with my old office-mates on Monday), but mostly I'm just going to wing it. I missed DC, and it'll be nice to see how it's doing.

I actually have two three-day weekends in a row. Monday is Cesar Chavez Day, and for some reason they decided to give us a furlough day on Friday too. So a three day work week next week. Also, our committee schedule is based on the weeks of the month (ie, this committee meets 1st and 3rd Tuesdays), and this will be a 5th week, which means no meetings. Those three days will be awfully quiet, I'm betting.

Then it's Easter, one of my favorite days of the year.

Then in two weeks my mom is coming to visit, and I've already been thinking of fun things for us to do together.

Plus spring is working its way slowly in, and I can't wait to be done with snow for a while!

(The bad things are that I am leaving a sick husband alone with a sick rabbit for the weekend while I run off to DC. Sorry, Brian.)

Wet

2010-03-23T20:52:00.002-06:00

It's snowing like mad right now. I walked home from the bus stop about an hour and a half ago, and I was pretty much drenched when I got inside.

Welcome to March in Colorado. Have I mentioned before that the weather here is nuts?

I had to drive home from work in a crazy snowstorm last Friday, a horrible experience that I would prefer never to replicate. (Thank goodness I took the bus today.) In between then and today the highs have mostly been in the 50s. On Saturday we went skiing (yay!) on a cold but totally clear day in the mountains.

So anyway, snowy mess of a March day in these parts.

10 years ago today

2010-03-17T14:26:00.002-06:00

I sat on a cafeteria table at Elko High School, next to a boy I rather liked. A few weeks before, he had taken me to his junior prom, whisking us early out of the Nevada state debate tournament, stopping at my parents' house to change clothes, and then at his parents' house for dinner. We danced, and at the end of the night we hugged, my exuberance causing the strap of my dress to break. He did his best to fix it with the pin from his corsage.

Ten years ago today, we were in Elko for another debate tournament, talking between rounds. The boy kept looking behind me, at his loudly giggling friends.

"They're holding up signs," he told me. "They want me to ask you out." He paused. "Would you say yes?"

"I would."

His hand was bigger than mine, and I had trouble holding it just right. But we held hands.

We still hold hands today.

Happy decade, Brian. It's been a good one.

I really just want to fly

2010-02-22T21:23:00.001-07:00

I would settle, though, for being an Olympic aerialist. So cool.

Sid

2010-02-17T08:30:00.002-07:00

I got a strange email from my dad this weekend - it linked to an obituary for my last living quasi-grandparent.

He died two weeks ago.

Sid was my step-grandfather. He married my grandmother well before I was born, though, and I grew up calling him grandpa.

Soon after my grandmother died, I invited Sid to my high school graduation. He responded by sending me a check for $500, and every photo my parents had ever sent him. And that was the last I heard from him. My dad and my aunt occasionally got updates, so we eventually learned that he had remarried.

The new wife was strange, although I never met her. She once convinced Sid to call my father and urgently inquire as to whether my grandmother had been "saved" before her death. Grandma was Jewish. But aside from that, she and Sid seemed to have decided that they would have nothing to do with us. They moved east - the obituary was from the paper in Erie, Pennsylvania.

It's odd to think that Sid is dead. It's odd that I had a grandparent still alive and didn't even know where he lived. It's odd that I'll probably never know how he died, or exactly what day - neither of those things are in the obituary.

Rest in peace, Grandpa Sid. It was good while it lasted.

Wasn't it?

Things that make me happy

2010-02-15T15:45:00.003-07:00

-Sunshine (in spite of the cold).
-The Olympics in HD.
-Spending two chill days with my amazing husband.
-Oma slippers hand knit by my mom.
-Talking to family by phone and email.
-An extra day of weekend with no real plans.

Test 1, 2, 3

2010-02-12T21:56:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to find a way to blog from my fancy phone (Erin the Eris). Hopefully this actually shows up.

"We don't usually work this hard"

2010-01-22T19:43:00.003-07:00

It's amazing how long a short week can be.

After an excellent three day weekend trip to New Mexico with Brian (more about that later, I hope, knowing how good I am at blogging trips), I came back to work madness. The Council meeting, rescheduled to Tuesday for the holiday, went from 5:30-midnight. And we had a kick-off week for our new legislative information system, which meant the consultants were in town for a week of meetings all day every day. I got to skip some of the tech meetings, but mostly I was there. Plus there's all the normal stuff that has to get done in this job.

I said to my boss today before heading home, "You did me in this week. I'm totally braindead."

"I know," she replied. "We don't usually work this hard."

And next week they're predicting the Council meeting could go into the wee hours of the morning. Medical marijuana last week, admission-based events in public parks this week, and a really controversial rezoning proposal next week. Total zoo.

So I'm taking it easy tonight. Glass of wine, television, maybe some Wii. And probably going to bed early. It's been a long week.

Rhythm

2010-01-14T20:42:00.002-07:00

If you pay attention to government at the state or federal level, you know there's a sense of ebb and flow to it. Legislative sessions, election cycles - they give a rhythm to governing.

So one of the most striking things about city government is its constancy. Every Monday night (save the occasional Tuesday around holidays, and four weeks off each year) there is a City Council meeting. Every Tuesday the Council meets with the Mayor. Every Thursday bills are filed, and the whole thing begins again.

It keeps me really busy at work. I keep up with the out of the ordinary ("Hey Julia, can you do this for me?") right alongside the weekly things that keep the place running. As soon as I catch up, it's time to start over again. This is a good thing. I haven't been bored yet. I haven't had time.

This is a new rhythm for me. The State Department, for all its seeming importance, moves at a snail's pace. Busy times come and go, interspersed with long, slow stretches. I've been at the City Council for almost two months now, and I can hardly believe how fast that's gone. I still feel like I just started.

I am getting the hang of things, though. At least most of them. It's a big job, and I think I might love it.

Goodbye, Gray Bunny

2010-01-10T08:11:00.003-07:00

This is Flopsy (Gray Bunny). We adopted her, along with her sister Mopsy (Brown Bunny), in early 2006. They were around 2 years old. We've learned a lot about pet rabbits in the last four years, including that they aren't very good pets. They never really liked us that much, but they've always been incredibly cute. And soft.

We put Flopsy down yesterday. About two weeks ago we noticed that she was losing lots of weight (despite eating normally), and more recently she was having trouble hopping. I finally took her to the vet, and I wasn't too surprised to learn that she had a pretty big tumor. The vet said that she was basically eating to feed the tumor at this point, and that it wouldn't get any better. So putting her down seemed like the obvious best decision.

Like I said, rabbits are terrible pets, but it's still a little strange not to have her around. I'm sure it's even stranger for Mopsy, who is probably just confused at this point.

I do miss you, Gray Bunny, even if you were just a rabbit.

Political intrigue

2010-01-08T20:45:00.002-07:00

In high school and college, I relished being the resident political junky. I loved talking excitedly to my non-political friends about some great political thing I'd just heard on NPR. And I loved getting agreement about some important thing from one of my political friends.

So I did what young political junkies often do - I moved to Washington, DC. In Washington, being a political junky is a competitive sport, and it started to feel like too much work. So I kind of stopped. I still paid attention, and I stayed involved, but I stopped talking about it as much. And I stopped thinking that my opinion or expertise was very convincing to anyone.

But now we're in Colorado. And political junky Julia is back! At least a little bit.

So Colorado's governor, Bill Ritter, just decided not to run for reelection next year. Ken Salazar, recently snatched from his Senate seat to be US Secretary of the Interior, was an early favorite to be Democratic nominee, but he decided yesterday not to run. And he endorsed John Hickenlooper, who you may recall is currently Mayor of Denver.

I have been frantically trying to get some perspective on this, and fortunately I work in a great place to do it. Hickenlooper is our neighbor one floor down, and most people have opinions about him. I have to say, most of their opinions are that he probably can't win, but none of them rule him out either.

Of course, if Hickenlooper were to run and win, then things would really get interesting. Would any Council members run? Would they win? If they won, who would run?

I'm excited. This is going to be fun.

From

2009-12-27T19:12:00.002-07:00

I'm sitting in the Reno airport, waiting to fly back to Denver.

I think I'll always say I'm from Reno. When I'm in my parents' house, it still feels like I've never left, even though it has been nearly 9 years since I last lived there full time. And though lots of things in Reno change (Park Lane Mall is gone!), it all feels as familiar as it ought to.

My dad has taken an interest in genealogy of late, and while I'm not terribly interested in the family tree element of it, I love the stories. I love knowing where people are from, what they did, and how they got where they ended up.

So I've always said I'm from Reno. And I've always been from the Netherlands, where my mom was born and where her family goes back as long as we know. But now I know more about my father's family. I am from Pittsburgh, New Orleans, New York, and Atlantic City. I'm from Italy, Germany, and probably Romania.

And now I'm headed home to Denver, where I've never been from before. It's pretty amazing, really.

Final office gift tally

2009-12-24T10:58:00.001-07:00

Added to the list were a bag of Ghiradelli chocolate and a little bracelet.

And two early releases: at 4pm yesterday and at 1pm (!) today.

Merry Christmas! I'm flying home to Reno tonight!

Addendum to previous post

2009-12-23T18:16:00.004-07:00

Worth adding: previously mentioned coworker also grew up Catholic. Not surprisingly, she's long gone, and that got me thinking how it's much easier to stand up for what's right if what's wrong affects you directly.

But does standing up for what's right matter at all if the thing you're standing up against doesn't even notice?

I still don't know.

On Catholic

2009-12-23T13:22:00.003-07:00

One of the women I work with is gay. I actually knew that before I started here, because I googled her after my interview, which turned up a rather unfortunate news item from a few years ago that identified as much. But it came up for the first time in actual conversation yesterday.

Afterwards, another coworker clarified that this person is, in fact, out to the office, and then she said, "Are you ok with... I mean... oh wait, you're Catholic."

I. Was. Mortified.

A similar thing happened earlier this year, actually. A dear childhood friend of mine called me and told me she was gay. Then she said she had hesitated to tell me, because she knew I was "so Catholic." Growing up, she was my conservative friend and I her liberal friend, yet in spite of that, she thought I would no longer accept her because of my religion.

I grew up proud to be Catholic. I really did. So it has kind of come as a shock to see how that label now paints me. I've never been a voter when a gay marriage question has been up, but I would vote for it if I were.

At the Catholic Center in college, we always asked, "what kind of God do you believe in?" Well, I believe in a God who loves everyone, unconditionally.

And I know it was the Catholic Church that taught me that.

I have had my political disagreements with the Church for as long as I have had political opinions, so it seems sort of arbitrary to get bugged about this now. But after everything that happened with Bill, after everything that happened with my parents' church, and after years of it being made abundantly clear that the Church values neither my opinion nor my membership, maybe I have finally reached my break point.

Am I no longer Catholic? How does that feel?

It sucks.

There is so much I love about being Catholic - the connection to history and family, the routine comfort of the mass, the participation in a truly worldwide organization. But I can't stand the thought of being identified as a bigot based on my religious identification alone.

So maybe I'm done now. Stay tuned.

(edited slightly to remove unnecessary detail)

More office gifts

2009-12-21T21:29:00.002-07:00

After getting a steady stream of sugar, the day ended with two gifts: a loaf of bread, and a bag of bean soup mix.

Much healthier.

Treats galore

2009-12-21T14:01:00.002-07:00

Offices are ridiculous at Christmastime. It seems like every time you turn around, another plate of cookies or other sweets has appeared.

And then there are the people who bring gifts to everyone. (I admit, I am also one of those people.) I've gotten two big boxes of almond toffee, a box of fudge, a baggie full of chocolates (complete with Denver Police medallion), and a Christmas ornament. And Christmas is still four days away.

One thing I've observed is that the Council members themselves are careful to bring gifts from local stores. Politically correct, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm certainly not complaining - it's a good spread.

And in January I'll join a gym. For real.

End of my workday

2009-12-17T21:38:00.002-07:00

Around 4:30 today, the mayor (say it with me: John Hickenlooper) walks into my office with his son and another young boy in tow.

"Just want to show them the City Council Chambers," he says. So I turn on the lights and let them in.

Denver has what's called a "strong mayor" system of government. Means basically what it sounds like - Council doesn't have a ton of power.

But apparently we have cooler digs.

Another slightly neurotic tendency

2009-12-17T09:11:00.003-07:00

(Perhaps somewhat more endearing.)

Those formative years in the marching band have made it very hard to me to listen to music while walking without walking on the beats. I'm taking the bus to work most days, and the iPod is great for bus trips. I mostly listen to podcasts, but one of them tricked me today with the Stars and Stripes forever as an intro.

Suddenly I'm doing goofy skip-steps trying to match that march tempo while walking to the bus stop.

The podcast, by the way, is Alex's, and if you aren't listening, you should be: http://read-weep.com/

New job, same old neuroses

2009-12-16T16:22:00.002-07:00

I hate calling people. I especially hate calling strangers, but really, I don't like the phone much at all.

One of my primary roles with the City Council is receptionist, and I'm actually fine with that. If people are calling me with questions, I take pride in being able to answer those questions. But give me a voicemail message to return, and it's a whole other matter.

We're getting ready to implement a new document management system, and my boss has asked me to call some other people who use this system and get their feedback on a few things.

My process:
1. Prepare note sheet
2. Fret about picking up phone
3. Review other city's website to have background knowledge before calling
4. Avoid call by doing things on internet (ie, update blog)
5. Actually make call
6. Fret about how call went.

Yes, I am neurotic. And no, I don't know how to fix it.

Thanksgiving report

2009-12-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

(The two week mark looms, but oh well.)

We hosted both our families for Thanksgiving. It was pretty much fantastic. Despite the added chaos of having started the new job a week before, I had a great time.

Brian cooked us dinner, including a 22 lb turkey. He did collapse an oven rack, resulting in turkey juice all over the oven, which quickly turned into turkey smoke all over the kitchen. But the turkey came out fine anyway, and the meal was delicious.

The next day we took everyone down to Colorado Springs to visit the Olympic Training Center and the Garden of the Gods, duplicating most of a summer field trip of mine. The OTC wasn't at its finest (most things were closed), but it was a beautiful day, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

I was able to show off my new office, including the ridiculously garish Christmas lights adorning City and County Building. Alex even joined me for what turned out to be a super short City Council meeting. (And only one Council member asked me later if we were twins.)

Once everyone left, I realized just how quiet our house is most of the time. The noise was great. I'm still crazy about my family. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving too!

I am falling in love with the public access channel

2009-11-19T13:12:00.003-07:00

They're having a "listening session" right now about Denver's new zoning code. It's a Council thing, so I put on the TV in our office to watch.

First public comment: request to change the laws regarding raising chickens on residential property.

Let the fun begin!

New job update

2009-11-18T21:48:00.003-07:00

I got an unexpected Amazon box in the mail yesterday, which turned out to be from Violanda, the L attorney I've been working with most since I moved. It contained a book called "Place Matters: Metropolitics for the Twenty-First Century." I thought that was very thoughtful. Another example of how good L has been to me.

But enough about the past! This is the week of new and exciting things! I started my new job!

I spent the first couple days totally, totally lost. I finally had to write down directions today to walk the four blocks between the bus stop and the office, because downtown Denver is super confusing, and I kept going around in circles. I walk out the wrong side of the building all the time. And I avoided answering the phone (one of my primary responsibilities) because I wouldn't be able to answer anyone's questions anyway.

But I did pick up the phone a few times today, and for a couple of calls I was actually able to find the answer without seeking someone else's help. And I'm learning how to process financial stuff, and most of my computer access has been set up.

I sit at the reception desk. It's full of distractions, and I love distractions. People come and go, they say hello, they ask for things, they rummage around. And the public access TV channel can be on all day if I want it to be. It's fun. I think it's going to be good.

Signed off

2009-11-13T16:31:00.003-07:00

I just closed my State Department email for the last time.

It was... a little more traumatic than I expected it to be. I mean, I've been "gone" for six months already. I said goodbye then. But actually wrapping things up reminded me what a huge part of the last three years of my life this has been. Giving it up feels strange and sad.

In the State Department, every bureau is represent by a letter or letters. You add a slash and more letters to indicate an office - sometimes drilling down into the bureaucracy gives you lots of slashes. (I think the most I've seen is six or seven.) The Legal Adviser's office is L. I first worked for L/PM (political-military affairs) and L/LFA (legislation and foreign assistance). Then I moved to L/EMP/Ethics. I never really loved the work, but I loved my L family so much. They took good care of me. And working with smart, committed people every day is just about the best thing I can ask for in a job. I've never wanted to go to law school, but if I ever did, I'd want to end up an L attorney - they are unquestionably the best in the business.

So that's my little ode to L. It was a good run. I'm ready to move on to new, local things, but I'm going to miss the State Department.